Donald Trump Had No Filter In His New York Times Interview

WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW." I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
WELL, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HEARD. THE NEWS, BUT, AFTER NINE YEARS
IN PRISON, O.J. SIMPSON WAS.

GRANTED PAROLE. THAT'S RIGHT, THE JUICE IS
LOOSE! ( AUDIENCE REACTS )
>> Jon: WOW... WOW... >> Stephen: I THINK THEY'RE
CHANTING JUICE! O.J.

GOT AWAY. ORENTHAL IS SOARING, Y'ALL. FINALLY, HE HAS THE OPPORTUNITY
TO FIND THE REAL KILLER. FIRST STEP: BUY A MIRROR.

>> Jon: WHOA! >> Stephen: OKAY? SAY WHAT YOU WANT ABOUT O.J., HE
NEVER MET WITH SERGEI KISLYAK. ( LAUGHTER )
UNLIKE HIS BUDDY, HERE. ( AUDIENCE REACTS )
COME ON, NOW! DON'T BE TOO HARSH. THAT WAS 1993, WHEN IT WAS A
COIN TOSS WHICH ONE OF THOSE.

GUYS WOULD END UP PRESIDENT AND
WHICH WOULD END UP IN JAIL. ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) MAYBE BOTH! MIGHT GET A TWO FER! SPEAKING OF WHICH, IT'S ALSO THE
SIXTH MONTH ANNIVERSARY OF. TRUMP'S INAUGURATION. ( AUDIENCE BOOING )
I'M NOT SURE WHAT YOU GIVE FOR.

SIX MONTHS. I KNOW I'M TAKING XANAX. ( LAUGHTER )
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S JUST SIX. MONTHS.

IT SEEMS TO HAVE LONGER THAN SIX
MONTHS, DOESN'T IT? IT'S CRAZY. ONE OF OUR STAFFERS HAD A BABY
BORN ON INAUGURATION DAY, AND. HERE'S THAT SAME BABY TODAY. ( LAUGHTER )
ETTES ALL THE STRESS.

IT'S THE CORTISOL. >> Jon: YEAH, YEAH. >> Stephen: HE'LL BE FINE. ( LAUGHTER )
WELL, TO CELEBRATE LASTING SIX.

MONTHS, YESTERDAY, DONALD TRUMP
GAVE AN INTERVIEW TO THE. "FAILING NEW YORK TIMES." ( LAUGHTER )
FIRST, TRUMP TALKED ABOUT SENATE. REPUBLICANS WHO ARE ON THE FENCE
ABOUT SUPPORTING HIS HEALTHCARE. BILL.

"I THINK WE HAVE SIX PEOPLE WHO
ARE REALLY SORT OF OKAY. THEY ARE ALL GOOD PEOPLE. WE DON'T HAVE BAD PEOPLE. I KNOW THE BAD PEOPLE.

BELIEVE ME, DO I KNOW BAD
PEOPLE." ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
OH -- OH, SIR -- >> Jon: HEY, HEY... >> Stephen: I BELIEVE YOU. TRUMP BRAGGED ABOUT ALL HE'S
ACCOMPLISHED SO FAR. "I'VE GIVEN THE FARMERS BACK
THEIR FARMS.

I'VE GIVEN THE BUILDERS BACK
THEIR LAND, TO BUILD HOUSES AND. TO BUILD OTHER THINGS." ( LAUGHTER )
THE WORD YOU'RE LOOKING FOR IS. BUILDINGS. ( LAUGHTER )
YOU KNOW, THE BIG THINGS WITH.

YOUR NAME ON THEM. BUT IT WASN'T JUST DOMESTIC
BRAGGING. OH, NO. TRUMP LOVES HIMSELF OVERSEAS,
TOO.

"I HAVE HAD THE BEST REVIEWS ON
FOREIGN LAND. SO I GO TO POLAND AND MAKE A
SPEECH. ENEMIES OF MINE IN THE MEDIA,
ENEMIES OF MINE ARE SAYING IT. WAS THE GREATEST SPEECH EVER
MADE ON FOREIGN SOIL BY A.

PRESIDENT." ARE YOU SURE THEY DIDN'T SAY IT
WAS A FOREIGN SPEECH BY A. PRESIDENT GREATLY SOILING
HIMSELF? ( LAUGHTER )
( PIANO RIFF ) BECAUSE I SAW THAT SPEECH. I SAW THE SPEECH. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
TRUMP WAS ESPECIALLY PROUD OF.

HIS BASTILLE DAY VISIT WITH
FRENCH PRESIDENT EMMANUEL. MACRON. "WE HAD DINNER AT THE EIFFEL
TOWER, AND THE BOTTOM OF THE. EIFFEL TOWER LOOKED LIKE THEY
COULD HAVE NEVER HAD A BIGGER.

CELEBRATION EVER IN THE HISTORY
OF THE EIFFEL TOWER. I MEAN, THERE WERE THOUSANDS AND
THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE, 'CAUSE THEY. HEARD WE WERE HAVING DINNER." "ALSO, JUST FOR MY VISIT, THEY
BUILT THIS ARC DE TRIUMPH, TO. CELEBRATE HOW I WON IN
WISCONSIN." "SO HUGE." ( PIANO RIFF )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: YES.

>> Jon: YEAH, YEAH. >> Stephen: IT'S TIME WE ALL
APPLAUDED HIS WIN IN WISCONSIN. ( LAUGHTER )
NOW, ONE TAKEAWAY FROM TRUMP'S. FRENCH ADVENTURE WAS HIS FAMOUS,
ENDLESS MANO-A-MANO HANDSHAKE.

WITH THE FRENCH PRESIDENT. FORGET ABOUT A COLD WAR WITH
RUSSIA-- I THINK WE MAY BE. HAVING A THUMB WAR WITH FRANCE. ( LAUGHTER )
DURING THE INTERVIEW, TRUMP.

TALKED ABOUT MACRON, SAYING,
"HE'S A GREAT GUY. SMART. STRONG. LOVES HOLDING MY HAND...

PEOPLE
DON'T REALIZE HE LOVES HOLDING. MY HAND. AND THAT'S GOOD, AS FAR AS THAT
GOES. I MEAN, REALLY.

HE'S A VERY GOOD PERSON. AND A TOUGH GUY, BUT, LOOK, HE
HAS TO BE. I THINK HE IS GOING TO BE A
TERRIFIC PRESIDENT OF FRANCE. BUT HE DOES LOVE HOLDING MY
HAND." ( LAUGHTER )
"AND THAT'S TOTALLY WEIRD, BECAUSE I KNOW WHERE THAT HAND
HAS BEEN." ( LAUGHTER )
>> Jon: OH! OH! OH, HEY, HEY, HEY...

>> Stephen: AND TRUMP FINALLY
EXPLAINED WHY, AT THE G20 DINNER, HE LEFT HIS
SEAT AND WENT OVER TO VLADIMIR. PUTIN. "SO, I WAS SEATED NEXT TO THE
WIFE OF PRIME MINISTER SHINZO. ABE OF JAPAN...

AND SHE'S A
TERRIFIC WOMAN BUT DOESN'T SPEAK. ENGLISH. LIKE, NOT 'HELLO'." OKAY, I CAN SEE WHY HE WOULD
WANT TO GET UP AND GO SOMEPLACE. ELSE, BUT
I'M NOT SURE THAT'S TRUE BECAUSE.

MRS. ABE HAS GIVEN AT LEAST ONE
SPEECH IN ENGLISH. SIR, I THINK SHE WAS FAKING IT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( PIANO RIFF ) "HELLO, MRS.

ABE." "KONECHE WA, NO HABLA INGLES,
SENOR TRUMP." ( LAUGHTER )
>> Jon: YEAH. >> Stephen: I'M VERY EXCITED
ABOUT THIS -- WE NOW HAVE VIDEO OF TRUMP AFTER
HIS CONVERSATION WITH PUTIN, BACK AT HIS ORIGINAL SEAT BUT
STILL GESTURING AT PUTIN. "YOU'RE GREAT. LOOKING AT YA.

HERE'S MY HAND. DON'T KNOW WHERE IT'S BEEN. YOU, TOO. HOW ABOUT THIS, YOU, ME,
COLLUDE." ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THIS THING WHERE HE MOVES IT.

BACK AND FORTH, I WANT TO POINT
OUT I MADE THAT EXACT SAME. GESTURE EARLIER THIS WEEK ON THE
SHOW AND I GOT BLURRED! ( LAUGHTER )
WAS I BEING TOO PRESIDENTIAL? I DON'T KNOW. ( LAUGHTER )
AND TRUMP MADE AN INTERESTING. CLAIM.

"WHEN NIXON CAME ALONG--
( INAUDIBLE ) --WAS PRETTY BRUTAL, AND OUT OF
COURTESY, THE F.B.I. STARTED. REPORTING TO THE DEPARTMENT OF
JUSTICE. BUT THERE WAS NOTHING OFFICIAL,
THERE WAS NOTHING FROM CONGRESS.

THERE WAS NOTHING-- ANYTHING. BUT THE F.B.I. PERSON REALLY
REPORTS DIRECTLY TO THE. PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES,
WHICH IS INTERESTING.

YOU KNOW, WHICH IS INTERESTING. AND I THINK WE'RE GOING TO HAVE
A GREAT NEW F.B.I. DIRECTOR." OH, SO THE TOP LAW ENFORCEMENT
OFFICER IN THE COUNTRY WILL. REPORT DIRECTLY TO YOU WITH
NOBODY ELSE IN THE ROOM.

NO ONE WILL KNOW! SO IT'S LIKE THE POLICE BUT
SECRET. THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT WOULD NOT
SEE THESE POLICE. THEY WOULD BE NOT-SEE POLICE. I THINK YOU WOULD CALL THEM.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
NO-SEE OR NOT-SEE, NON-SEE, NONE-SEE? NOT-SEE IS GOOD. THEN, TRUMP TALKED ABOUT THE
FIRING OF F.B.I. DIRECTOR JAMES. COMEY.

"WHY WOULD SOMEBODY SAY, 'HE HAS
EVERY RIGHT TO FIRE ME,' BAH BAH. BAH? WHY WOULDN'T YOU JUST SAY, 'HEY,
I'VE RETIRED'?" YES, WHY DIDN'T COMEY JUST SAY
HE RETIRED? JUST WANT TO REMIND YOU THAT HE
WAS IN L.A. AT AN F.B.I. EVENT.

AND FOUND OUT LIVE FROM A TV IN
THE ROOM THAT HE WAS FIRED. "SIR, THEY'RE SAYING YOU GOT
FIRED ON TV." "WHAT? NO, I WASN'T. I RETIRED!"
( LAUGHTER ) WELL, MY WORK IS TONE HERE. ( PIANO RIFF )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( PIANO RIFF ) >> Stephen: WHY DIDN'T HE JUST
SAY I RETIRED? THAT WAS TRUMP'S FAMOUS CATCH
PHRASE FOR "THE APPRENTICE," WASN'T IT? YOU'VE RETIRED.

WHEN ASKED ABOUT THE SPECIAL
PROSECUTOR, ROBERT MUELLER, TRUMP SAID HE SHOULDN'T HAVE
BEEN APPOINTED, AND TRUMP WARNED. THAT MUELLER SHOULD STAY OUT OF
INVESTIGATING HIS FINANCES. THAT'S NOT A RED FLAG AT ALL. ( LAUGHTER )
"SURE, THE POLICE ARE WELCOME TO.

SEARCH ANYWHERE IN MY HOUSE, AS
LONG AS THEY DON'T DIG UP THE. PATIO. THERE'S NOTHING DOWN THERE. OR THE SHED.

AND FORGET THE CRAWLSPACE-- IT'S
WAY TOO CROWDED IN THERE." ( LAUGHTER )
TURNS OUT THE PRESIDENT'S. WARNING DIDN'T WORK OUT SO WELL
BECAUSE, TODAY, IT CAME OUT THAT. MUELLER HAS EXPANDED HIS PROBE
INTO TRUMP'S PERSONAL BUSINESS. TRANSACTIONS.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
MR. TRUMP, COULD YOU PLEASE WARN. MUELLER NOT TO SUBPOENA YOUR
TAXES?.