After Syrian president Bashar
al-Assad attacked his own people with chemical weapons last week,
the world has been waiting to see if President Trump would
respond with military action. And because this is a decision that could lead
to an all-out war, the president announced
his decision with all the gravitas
it demanded. -
-President Trump is up and firing off tweets
about the situation in Syria. NEWSMAN:
"Russia vows to shoot down "any and all missiles
fired at Syria.
"Get ready, Russia,
because they will be coming, nice and new and 'smart!'" It's hard
to see how this is anything but the president of the United
States declaring war on Twitter. I feel like we joked about this,
and now it's become real, 'cause when Trump got elected,
we were like, "He's gonna start a war
on Twitter." (Laughing) And then, before he got elected,
we were like, "He's gonna become president."
(Laughing) Yeah, it turns out every joke
about Trump is just a headline that hasn't happened yet. And, also,
why does Trump tweet so weird? "These missiles are nice
and new and smart"? It sounds like he's trying to
fix them up with the missiles. (Laughter) It's like he's saying
to the Russians, "Look, I know
you don't like blind dates, "but these missiles-- they're
really nice, really smart.
"Just come. No pressure. It's just a lunch. Come on." (Laughter) And now
a lot of people have pointed out that Trump used
to mock President Obama for telegraphing his military
decisions in advance, and now he's doing
the exact same thing.
But, I mean,
let's be honest, at this point, Trump's hypocrisy
is so unsurprising, it's not even fun anymore. Like, you see it coming. It happens and you go, "Yup."
You know? It's like someone handed you one
of those novelty cans of nuts with the snake inside,
but it was actually labeled, "Novelty Can of Nuts
with Snake Inside." It was like, "Surprise." Now, look, we could talk about how Trump isn't even
seeking approval from Congress to go against war against Assad, and how Congress also
doesn't seem to care anymore, but we don't have time
to get into that, because Trump is also thinking
about launching another attack right here on American soil. CNN also learning President Trump and his team
have been talking about how to get rid
of Mueller for months.
NEWSMAN: Monday night,
President Trump suggested he may fire
Special Counsel Mueller, and on Tuesday, White House press secretary
Sarah Sanders said Mr. Trump believes
he has that authority. We've been advised
that the president, uh, certainly has the power
to make that decision. Okay, hold up, hold up.
The White House always says that Trump doesn't plan
to fire Robert Mueller. So why are you checking
on something that you don't want to do? It's like seeing
your coworker Googling, "How to dissolve
my officemate's dead body." (Laughter) Like, he can tell you
he's not planning something, but you probably want to move. (Laughter) Because, look,
we all know, we all know that Trump has been slowly
working up to firing Mueller
for a long, long time. You know, it's like
he's been tantric firing him.
You know, he's letting it all
build up and build up, and then one day, he's gonna
be like, "You're fired! Ah!" (Laughter) "Oh, my God, finally! "Here's $130,000. Don't tell anyone about this." (Laughter, groaning) And now, now, because of Trump's
comments and Sarah Sanders, we have to ask ourselves
if Trump is also thinking about firing Rod Rosenstein,
or Jeff Sessions, or Gary Busey,
just for old time's sake. But we don't really have
the time for that, because in the middle
of all this news, this crazy story popped up. NEWSWOMAN: Former House Speaker
John Boehner is joining the board of advisers for a marijuana company
called Acreage Holdings.
It is one of the largest multistate marijuana
corporations in the country. Boehner, a Republican, went on
the record nine years ago, saying he was opposed
to legalizing pot, but now he says his attitude
towards it has changed, like that of many Americans
out there. It's funny how going
from Congress, though, to selling drugs is somehow
more respectable. You know, like, now people
are gonna be like, "What's Boehner doing
since he left Congress? "I heard he sells weed now.
"Oh, that's wonderful. It's nice he's finally
helping people." Now, normally,
John Boehner pushing Kush would be the day's biggest news about a House speaker's
career plans, but again, today we don't
have time for that. Because there's also big news
from the current speaker. Also breaking this morning,
House Speaker Paul Ryan will not run for re-election
in November.
He is the 23rd Republican
to announce their retirement. This year will be my last one
as a member of the House. It's been a wild ride, but it's been a journey
well worth taking to be able to do my part to strengthening
the American idea. Oh.
He sounds like
it's his last day at camp. "It's been a wild ride, "so many fun memories
with my friends, "like the time
I tried to take away "poor children's health care.
Mah. "And swimming by the lake. Best summer ever.
Ah." Yes, Paul Ryan,
top-ranking congressman and guy at the gym who eye-bangs
himself in the mirror, is stepping down, and then stepping back up,
and then stepping down. I guess it's legs day. Uh, and this,
this is a big deal. It really is a big deal,
all right.
Even though Paul Ryan
looks young enough to play Spider-Man,
you've got to remember that he's actually been
in Congress since 1999. Yeah. That was so long ago, Britney Spears hadn't even
done it again yet. Yeah.
She'd only done it
one time. And remember, we all thought
that would be the only time. We were so naive back then. Now, other than pretending
that he was upset about stuff
President Trump said, the thing that Paul Ryan
was most famous for was his deep, sincere concern
about America's national debt.
We are fiscal conservatives. What that means
is we believe government should not live beyond
its means. The debt is projected to grow
to truly catastrophic levels in the near future, leading to
an economic collapse and a diminished future. Bringing our deficit up
to a trillion dollars will only serve
to actually weaken the dollar.
I don't know what it would take
for a person to completely sell out the will
of the American people, sell out the federal budget, sell out our children
and grandchildren. What on earth could you be given in legislation
to make you vote for that? Uh... Tax cuts? (Bell ringing) Oh, I got it right. -I got it right.
-(Cheers and applause) Thank you.
Thank you. Yeah, because, you see,
after eight years of blaming President Obama for the ballooning
national debt, last year, when the Republicans took over the entire government under the leadership
of Paul Ryan, here's what they did: The two biggest achievements
for me are, first, the major reform of our tax code for the first time in 36 years, which has already been a huge
success for this country, and that's something I've been
working on my entire adult life. New forecasts say the U.S.
Budget deficit will balloon
in the next few years, largely thanks
to the Republican tax cuts. TV REPORTER:
The CBO says it will hit a trillion dollars by 2020.
Yeah. It turns out,
after two decades of claiming to be all about
fiscal discipline, Paul Ryan exploded the deficit
with his tax cuts and then just walks away. You know what this feels like? It's like you're walking
in the desert with someone, and every time you take a sip
of the water, he's like, "Hey, hey, hey.
Don't waste the water. Dude, dude, not so much,
slow down, slow down.
And you're like, "Okay, fine. Why don't you hold
the canister?" And he takes it
and then he's like, "Wet T-shirt contest. "Whoo! "Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! "Ah! Whoo! Ah! Ah! Whoo!" It's like, "All right, uh,
now that the water is done, I'm retiring from the desert.
Good-bye. Good-bye, everybody." Yeah, but I mean, look, come on,
come on.
Let's not be haters. What's a few trillion dollars
between friends, right? Just because Paul Ryan turned
out to be a complete fraud, doesn't mean we can't give him
the send-off that he deserves. Paul Ryan is leaving us, folks, so let's pour out a 40. 40 Grams of protein, of course.
Yeah. Just for him. The way he would like it. (Cheers and applause) Just for you, Paul.
Oh, and-and, don't worry, just-just like Paul Ryan's
deficit, someone else is gonna have
to clean this up..
Saturday, September 26, 2015
Monday, September 21, 2015
So Much News, So Little Time - Russia Hacks Voter Rolls & Rob Porter Resigns The Daily Show
While Congress is
talking, the Russians are doing. WOMAN: A senior intelligence
official with direct knowledge of the top secret report says several states had their
voting registration system successfully compromised
by the Russian government. I can't talk about classified
information publicly. We saw targeting of 21 states, and an exceptionally
small number of that-- 21-- were actually
successfully penetrated.
Okay, wait, wait, wait. Did she just say, yes, the Russians hacked
America's voting rolls, but in an exceptionally
small number of states? She delivered that line like it was supposed
to sound comforting. It's like a doctor saying,
"Good news, Brian. You have an exceptionally small
number of tumors in your brain." "Oh, good.
Wait. What?!" (Laughter) Like, the only thing
that should concern you more than the Russians successfully
hacking voter rolls is the lack of concern from Secretary of State
Rex Tillerson. I don't know that I would say
we're better prepared, because the Russians will adapt,
as well. 'Cause if it's their intention
to interfere, they're going
to find ways to do that.
And we can take steps,
we can take, uh, but this is something that,
once they decide they're going to do it, it's
very difficult to preempt it. It's so weird to hear
such a badass voice say such a wimpy thing. He's like, "Go ahead, punk. "(Bleep) my wife.
Nothing I can do about it." Now... Like, I'm sorry, Tillerson's response
is mind-boggling. There's a good chance
the Russians will interfere in America's upcoming election, and the secretary of state is
like, "Don't hate the player. I mean,
what are you gonna do?" It's mind-boggling.
And, now, look,
maybe Trump's administration isn't addressing Russia
more forcefully because they're protecting
the president's ego, right, which is more unstable
than the back of his hair. We don't know. -(Applause)
-Or... Or...
Maybe they just don't have time to deal with Russia. And frankly, neither do we. Because today the thing
we've got to talk about is this. BRIAN WILLIAMS: White House
Staff Secretary Rob Porter resigned today after
his two ex-wives came forward to the Daily Mail website
with disturbing allegations of verbal and physical abuse.
REPORTER: Porter's first wife,
Colbie Holderness, shared photos
with The Intercept website, showing what her face looked
like after he allegedly punched her while on vacation. REPORTER 2: We've learned
that, uh, John Kelly knew about these allegations
for months, and apparently
did nothing about them. You know, every time
I think I've reached the highest level of disgust
with this administration, I'm right, but then
they invent another level. 'Cause I mean, like,
I don't know, I missed the days when White House staffers
got fired for fun stuff.
You know, Spicey couldn't talk.
The Mooch couldn't shut up. Steve Bannon
couldn't shower. But... But I'm sorry, like,
this-this story hits me hard, because not only
did the White House have a domestic abuser
in its midst, a lot of the people there--
especially chief of staff and alleged "adult in the room"
John Kelly-- just ignored it for months.
And with the job Porter had,
there's no reason that they couldn't
get somebody else. The role of staff secretary is
one of the most important jobs in the White House. They
oversee every piece of paper that lands
on the president's desk, from articles to classified
briefing materials. Ooh! You oversee
every piece of paper that lands on Trump's desk? You mean this desk? Oh! Tough job.
Trump's desk is balder
than his head, people. I'm never gonna get over that.
I'm just gonna -keep on showing it to you.
-(Cheering, applause) That shit was weird.
W-What happened there? What was that? It was like an alien
when the thing does that thing. Like, I'm sorry, man, don't
try and... Like, if your job is to bring reading materials
to a guy without doesn't read, then that's not much of a job.
Yeah it's like being
Kevin Spacey's agent. "Yup, uh, still no calls.
Nope, nothing. Yup. " Doop, de-doop, de-doo-doop,
de-doop, doop, doop Doo-doo-de-doop, doop doop.
" Honestly, it seems like
every day now, someone else is leaving
the Trump administration. They either mistreated women
or they were too racist or too crazy
or just completely unqualified. Fortunately, there's still
one job in government where none of that
seems to matter..
talking, the Russians are doing. WOMAN: A senior intelligence
official with direct knowledge of the top secret report says several states had their
voting registration system successfully compromised
by the Russian government. I can't talk about classified
information publicly. We saw targeting of 21 states, and an exceptionally
small number of that-- 21-- were actually
successfully penetrated.
Okay, wait, wait, wait. Did she just say, yes, the Russians hacked
America's voting rolls, but in an exceptionally
small number of states? She delivered that line like it was supposed
to sound comforting. It's like a doctor saying,
"Good news, Brian. You have an exceptionally small
number of tumors in your brain." "Oh, good.
Wait. What?!" (Laughter) Like, the only thing
that should concern you more than the Russians successfully
hacking voter rolls is the lack of concern from Secretary of State
Rex Tillerson. I don't know that I would say
we're better prepared, because the Russians will adapt,
as well. 'Cause if it's their intention
to interfere, they're going
to find ways to do that.
And we can take steps,
we can take, uh, but this is something that,
once they decide they're going to do it, it's
very difficult to preempt it. It's so weird to hear
such a badass voice say such a wimpy thing. He's like, "Go ahead, punk. "(Bleep) my wife.
Nothing I can do about it." Now... Like, I'm sorry, Tillerson's response
is mind-boggling. There's a good chance
the Russians will interfere in America's upcoming election, and the secretary of state is
like, "Don't hate the player. I mean,
what are you gonna do?" It's mind-boggling.
And, now, look,
maybe Trump's administration isn't addressing Russia
more forcefully because they're protecting
the president's ego, right, which is more unstable
than the back of his hair. We don't know. -(Applause)
-Or... Or...
Maybe they just don't have time to deal with Russia. And frankly, neither do we. Because today the thing
we've got to talk about is this. BRIAN WILLIAMS: White House
Staff Secretary Rob Porter resigned today after
his two ex-wives came forward to the Daily Mail website
with disturbing allegations of verbal and physical abuse.
REPORTER: Porter's first wife,
Colbie Holderness, shared photos
with The Intercept website, showing what her face looked
like after he allegedly punched her while on vacation. REPORTER 2: We've learned
that, uh, John Kelly knew about these allegations
for months, and apparently
did nothing about them. You know, every time
I think I've reached the highest level of disgust
with this administration, I'm right, but then
they invent another level. 'Cause I mean, like,
I don't know, I missed the days when White House staffers
got fired for fun stuff.
You know, Spicey couldn't talk.
The Mooch couldn't shut up. Steve Bannon
couldn't shower. But... But I'm sorry, like,
this-this story hits me hard, because not only
did the White House have a domestic abuser
in its midst, a lot of the people there--
especially chief of staff and alleged "adult in the room"
John Kelly-- just ignored it for months.
And with the job Porter had,
there's no reason that they couldn't
get somebody else. The role of staff secretary is
one of the most important jobs in the White House. They
oversee every piece of paper that lands
on the president's desk, from articles to classified
briefing materials. Ooh! You oversee
every piece of paper that lands on Trump's desk? You mean this desk? Oh! Tough job.
Trump's desk is balder
than his head, people. I'm never gonna get over that.
I'm just gonna -keep on showing it to you.
-(Cheering, applause) That shit was weird.
W-What happened there? What was that? It was like an alien
when the thing does that thing. Like, I'm sorry, man, don't
try and... Like, if your job is to bring reading materials
to a guy without doesn't read, then that's not much of a job.
Yeah it's like being
Kevin Spacey's agent. "Yup, uh, still no calls.
Nope, nothing. Yup. " Doop, de-doop, de-doo-doop,
de-doop, doop, doop Doo-doo-de-doop, doop doop.
" Honestly, it seems like
every day now, someone else is leaving
the Trump administration. They either mistreated women
or they were too racist or too crazy
or just completely unqualified. Fortunately, there's still
one job in government where none of that
seems to matter..
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
So Much News, So Little Time - NRA Silence on Philando Castile & Canceling Cuba The Daily Show
Even though it's,
uh, only Monday, there seems to be more news than
we have the time to get through in a single show.
So we won't try. Good night, everybody. Uh, no, I'm-I'm just joking.
I'm just joking. You know, whenever
we're overwhelmed by news, we handle it
in a segment we call Ain't Nobody Got Time For That.
-
-(Cheering, applause) All right, there's no time,
so let's get straight into it. You know that cool trip
you were taking to Cuba? Computer says no. President Trump took steps
to roll back some parts of the Obama administration's
opening to Cuba. REPORTER:<i> Halting the flow
of U.S.
Dollars</i> <i> to the communist government.</I> <i> The new policy
bans transactions</i> <i> with enterprises
including hotels</i> <i> and other
tourist-related businesses</i> <i> ultimately owned
by the Cuban military.</I> Simply booking your spring break will be harder
under this policy. That's right. The people
hardest hit by this policy will be spring breakers. Always in our thoughts.
Always in our thoughts.
You know who's
probably loving this? The one friend of yours who
always takes trip insurance. Now he's like, "Oh, I'm sorry,
who was wasting their money? "Aw, yeah. Yeah." Still a waste, you nerd. Now, uh, the reason
Trump is rolling back this diplomatic opening
is because he's fulfilling a campaign promise he made
to Marco Rubio and to his south Florida
constituents, many of whom are Cuban.
And also because it's the exact opposite thing
that Obama did.
Which, let's be honest,
is basically Donald Trump's presidency--
it's a series of "control Zs" punctuated by golf weekend. That's all it is.
That's all it is. Every single thing... -Is just anti-Obama.
-(Cheering, applause) In fact...
In fact,
he's so anti-Obama he's probably resubscribing
to every spam list Obama unsubscribed from.
He's just sitting there, like, "Yes, I would like
more information about Groupon, thank you." Oh, oh, and by the way--
you know how most politicians learn a bit of Spanish
to try and ingratiate themselves to the crowd? Well,
uh, the president was like, "Forget that,
everyone speaks Trump." I am so thrilled to be back here with all of my friends... (Cuban accent):
in Little Havana. And for Cuba. Santiago de Cuba.
You know Santiago, ya? Ya? I don't think
that's Spanish. Ya. Santiago, ya? Damn. Like, all of those
impersonations.
You know what, that makes me
scared of the day he has to give a speech
in China. Just, like, looking
at the people, like, "Oh..." Now, if we had time, we would be talking
about why the U.S. Would be going back to a policy
that was clearly not working and didn't help
the Cuban people at all. But, unfortunately...
(Speaking Spanish) Because the president
is under investigation. Isn't. President Trump
is now back at the White House and once again under fire. After he sent this tweet
saying he is being investigated, now his legal team
is making the rounds with this contradiction.
The president has not been
and is not under investigation. Let me be clear, the president
is not under investigation. But the attempts
to correct the record leading to more confusion. And now he's being investigated
by the Department of Justice.
So he's being investigated for taking the action
that the Attorney General... The Deputy Attorney General
recommended him to take by the agency
who recommended the termination. You've now said
that he is being investigated -after saying that you didn't...
-No. -You just said, sir, tha...
-No,
he's not being investigated. So, I do not appreciate
you putting words in my mouth when I've been crystal clear
that the president is not and has not been
under investigation. I can't believe I'm saying this,
but Donald Trump would be better off
defending himself. If that's your lawyer...
(Cheers and applause) He would be better off
defending himself. You know, unfortunately, we just don't have the time
to enjoy this magical moment. I mean, we do have the time,
but we don't have the time. I-I never said
we do have the time.
Don't put words many my mouth. Anyway, let's move on. Because, honestly, there is
something we have to talk about. I mean, it's good
to get the jokes out so that we can relax
and laugh about it, but there is one thing
I want us to talk about today, and that is the verdict
that just came in on Friday.
All right? On the police officer who shot and killed
Philando Castile. Now, you probably
remember the story because his girlfriend,
Diamond Reynolds, streamed it on Facebook Live. All right? And the officer
went to trial for manslaughter, and on Friday,
the jury reached a decision. A verdict in a case
that caused national outrage.
Tonight a police officer
acquitted on all charges in the shooting death
of a black man after a traffic stop. A Minnesota jury
acquitting the officer who fatally shot
Philando Castile moments before
this infamous video was live streamed on Facebook by
his girlfriend. Every time I watch that video, the question
I ask myself is "How?" Just how? How does a black person not get shot in America? 'Cause if you think about it,
the bar is always moving. The goalposts
are always shifting.
There's always a different thing that explains
why a person got shot. Oh, the person
was wearing a hoodie. Oh, the person was running away
from the police. Oh, no, the person
was going towards the police.
Oh, no, the person
was running around at night. Oh, no, the person
had an illegal firearm. The person
didn't have a firearm. But at some point, you realize there's no real answer.
Right? And you see this video, and then you see the verdict,
and you go, "How?" And th-there've been a lot
of these shootings, right? W-We talk about this a lot. So many things to say. Racism, classism,
you know, systemic violence in a police force
that oppresses people. But...
But this story
is interesting because there's
something different. And that is Philando Castile wasn't just a man
shot at a traffic stop. He was a legal gun owner whose family was in the car and who had committed
no crime at all. In a story of a man being shot because he was lawfully armed, you would think that one group, one powerful group in America would say something about it.
This one group
that you would expect to be losing
their goddamn minds about this: the NRA. But, for some strange reason,
on this particular case, they've been completely silent. Completely silent. And yet,
according to their rhetoric, this is everything
that they stand against, right? An officer of the state
depriving a citizen of his life because he was legally
carrying a firearm? I mean, listen to how vocal
and fired up the NRA gets when nothing has happened.
There is no greater freedom than the right to survive
and protect our families with all the rifles, shotguns and handguns we want. Unless you're black... Is what he should have said. Like, i-it's interesting how the people
who define themselves by one fundamental
American right-- the right to bear arms-- show that once race is involved, the only right
that they believe in is their right to remain silent..
uh, only Monday, there seems to be more news than
we have the time to get through in a single show.
So we won't try. Good night, everybody. Uh, no, I'm-I'm just joking.
I'm just joking. You know, whenever
we're overwhelmed by news, we handle it
in a segment we call Ain't Nobody Got Time For That.
-
-(Cheering, applause) All right, there's no time,
so let's get straight into it. You know that cool trip
you were taking to Cuba? Computer says no. President Trump took steps
to roll back some parts of the Obama administration's
opening to Cuba. REPORTER:<i> Halting the flow
of U.S.
Dollars</i> <i> to the communist government.</I> <i> The new policy
bans transactions</i> <i> with enterprises
including hotels</i> <i> and other
tourist-related businesses</i> <i> ultimately owned
by the Cuban military.</I> Simply booking your spring break will be harder
under this policy. That's right. The people
hardest hit by this policy will be spring breakers. Always in our thoughts.
Always in our thoughts.
You know who's
probably loving this? The one friend of yours who
always takes trip insurance. Now he's like, "Oh, I'm sorry,
who was wasting their money? "Aw, yeah. Yeah." Still a waste, you nerd. Now, uh, the reason
Trump is rolling back this diplomatic opening
is because he's fulfilling a campaign promise he made
to Marco Rubio and to his south Florida
constituents, many of whom are Cuban.
And also because it's the exact opposite thing
that Obama did.
Which, let's be honest,
is basically Donald Trump's presidency--
it's a series of "control Zs" punctuated by golf weekend. That's all it is.
That's all it is. Every single thing... -Is just anti-Obama.
-(Cheering, applause) In fact...
In fact,
he's so anti-Obama he's probably resubscribing
to every spam list Obama unsubscribed from.
He's just sitting there, like, "Yes, I would like
more information about Groupon, thank you." Oh, oh, and by the way--
you know how most politicians learn a bit of Spanish
to try and ingratiate themselves to the crowd? Well,
uh, the president was like, "Forget that,
everyone speaks Trump." I am so thrilled to be back here with all of my friends... (Cuban accent):
in Little Havana. And for Cuba. Santiago de Cuba.
You know Santiago, ya? Ya? I don't think
that's Spanish. Ya. Santiago, ya? Damn. Like, all of those
impersonations.
You know what, that makes me
scared of the day he has to give a speech
in China. Just, like, looking
at the people, like, "Oh..." Now, if we had time, we would be talking
about why the U.S. Would be going back to a policy
that was clearly not working and didn't help
the Cuban people at all. But, unfortunately...
(Speaking Spanish) Because the president
is under investigation. Isn't. President Trump
is now back at the White House and once again under fire. After he sent this tweet
saying he is being investigated, now his legal team
is making the rounds with this contradiction.
The president has not been
and is not under investigation. Let me be clear, the president
is not under investigation. But the attempts
to correct the record leading to more confusion. And now he's being investigated
by the Department of Justice.
So he's being investigated for taking the action
that the Attorney General... The Deputy Attorney General
recommended him to take by the agency
who recommended the termination. You've now said
that he is being investigated -after saying that you didn't...
-No. -You just said, sir, tha...
-No,
he's not being investigated. So, I do not appreciate
you putting words in my mouth when I've been crystal clear
that the president is not and has not been
under investigation. I can't believe I'm saying this,
but Donald Trump would be better off
defending himself. If that's your lawyer...
(Cheers and applause) He would be better off
defending himself. You know, unfortunately, we just don't have the time
to enjoy this magical moment. I mean, we do have the time,
but we don't have the time. I-I never said
we do have the time.
Don't put words many my mouth. Anyway, let's move on. Because, honestly, there is
something we have to talk about. I mean, it's good
to get the jokes out so that we can relax
and laugh about it, but there is one thing
I want us to talk about today, and that is the verdict
that just came in on Friday.
All right? On the police officer who shot and killed
Philando Castile. Now, you probably
remember the story because his girlfriend,
Diamond Reynolds, streamed it on Facebook Live. All right? And the officer
went to trial for manslaughter, and on Friday,
the jury reached a decision. A verdict in a case
that caused national outrage.
Tonight a police officer
acquitted on all charges in the shooting death
of a black man after a traffic stop. A Minnesota jury
acquitting the officer who fatally shot
Philando Castile moments before
this infamous video was live streamed on Facebook by
his girlfriend. Every time I watch that video, the question
I ask myself is "How?" Just how? How does a black person not get shot in America? 'Cause if you think about it,
the bar is always moving. The goalposts
are always shifting.
There's always a different thing that explains
why a person got shot. Oh, the person
was wearing a hoodie. Oh, the person was running away
from the police. Oh, no, the person
was going towards the police.
Oh, no, the person
was running around at night. Oh, no, the person
had an illegal firearm. The person
didn't have a firearm. But at some point, you realize there's no real answer.
Right? And you see this video, and then you see the verdict,
and you go, "How?" And th-there've been a lot
of these shootings, right? W-We talk about this a lot. So many things to say. Racism, classism,
you know, systemic violence in a police force
that oppresses people. But...
But this story
is interesting because there's
something different. And that is Philando Castile wasn't just a man
shot at a traffic stop. He was a legal gun owner whose family was in the car and who had committed
no crime at all. In a story of a man being shot because he was lawfully armed, you would think that one group, one powerful group in America would say something about it.
This one group
that you would expect to be losing
their goddamn minds about this: the NRA. But, for some strange reason,
on this particular case, they've been completely silent. Completely silent. And yet,
according to their rhetoric, this is everything
that they stand against, right? An officer of the state
depriving a citizen of his life because he was legally
carrying a firearm? I mean, listen to how vocal
and fired up the NRA gets when nothing has happened.
There is no greater freedom than the right to survive
and protect our families with all the rifles, shotguns and handguns we want. Unless you're black... Is what he should have said. Like, i-it's interesting how the people
who define themselves by one fundamental
American right-- the right to bear arms-- show that once race is involved, the only right
that they believe in is their right to remain silent..
Friday, September 11, 2015
Senior Bernie Advisor says Bullshit to Cuomo Campaign Claim Its Lockstep with Sanders
PAUL JAY: Welcome to the Real News Network. I'm Paul Jay. On Monday a thing broke out between Bernie
Sanders' camp and Governor Cuomo and such. Cynthia Nixon, who's running in a primary
against the Democratic Governor Cuomo in New York.
It came out, according to The New York Daily
News that Bernie Sanders was not going to endorse Cynthia Nixon. Well, Cuomo then came out with a statement,
said, well, why would Sanders endorse Cynthia Nixon, because we're in lockstep with Senator
Sanders on all issues. Well, then a senior adviser to Bernie Sanders
came out with this tweet. Ari Rabin-Havt, I hope I'm pronouncing it
right, writes: The idea that Andrew Cuomo and Bernie Sanders are lockstep on policy
is 100 % Grade A American bullshit.
Well, so just what is Bernie Sanders' attitude
toward Cynthia Nixon, and why is Cynthia Nixon running against Cuomo, when apparently, according
to another senior adviser in the Sanders office, Cuomo actually has passed and supports some
progressive legislation, like a $15 minimum wage, and easier access to college, and so
on. So now joining us to talk about this is, first
of all, from Wallingford Connecticut, Alexandra Rojas. She's the Campaigns Director for Justice Democrats,
a progressive political action committee founded in January of 2017. Moumita Ahmed is a grassroots organizer with
People for Bernie Sanders and co-founder of the group Millennials Revolution, previously
known as Millennials for Bernie Sanders.
And Moumita is actually doing some digital
campaign work for the Nixon, Cynthia Nixon campaign, but I should stress is not here
speaking for the campaign. And Eugene Puryear. Hes a journalist, author, and activist. He's co-founder of Stop Police Terror Project
D.C., And a member of DC's Movement for Black Lives steering committee.
So first of all, let me go to Moumita. So you're kind of closest to all of this thing. What do you make of this, first of all, what
went on with is Sanders endorsing, not endorsing, and such. MOUMITA AHMED: I think Bernie Sanders is busy
campaigning around the country for Medicare for All and college for all, and other progressive
issues.
So to drag him into a very local race, and
asking him for an endorsement so early on, it puts everybody in a very difficult position,
including Bernie Sanders. But I will say this. Andrew Cuomo is not aligned with Bernie Sanders
in any way. And he is, in fact, quite the opposite.
99 Percent of his campaign donations come
from super PACs, and the majority of his donors have given him over $200 worth of campaign
donations. Maybe like 1 percent of that out of all of
that, in the entirety of the donations that he receives. Which is quite, which is opposite of Bernie
Sanders, whose average donation was $27. PAUL JAY: Alexandra, Bernie Sanders has to
walk a fairly fine line in these kinds of races.
He's encouraging, and the organization Our
Revolution, which he helped give birth to, although he's not involved in the day to day,
as far as we know, is really promoting primary-ing conservative and corporate Democrats, as they're
called. On the other hand, Sanders really can't afford
to alienate the whole Democratic Party establishment. He needs some of them to win if he's going
to run the primary in 2020. How do you think this Cynthia Nixon-Cuomo
thing fits into this, and Sanders' problem in this? ALEXANDRA ROJAS: I think, I think Bernie can
play a big role here.
I know that he has to be careful, but him
challenging the establishment last time showed that he's willing to go up against the machine. And I think that's why people like him, right. He was able to get as far as he did even without
establishment support, and I totally agree that he's going to need some just to push
things forward, but he's the most popular politician in the country. People know, he went from being virtually
unknown last year to being a household name.
And he should leverage a lot of that power,
I think, to get even more involved in some of these primaries. He's been doing it with candidates like Marie
Newman, who ran against Dan Lipinski, and I think he really should, you know, consider
endorsing again another Democrat. You know, fighting another corporate Democrat,
especially when they're so in contradiction to his principles on not taking big corporate
money, and having that fund your race. You should be beholden to your voters instead
of your donors.
And as a progressive movement we should lean
into, I think, the biggest asset that we have, which is our integrity, is running on our
values. And I think that's the way that we win moving
forward. PAUL JAY: Eugene, Chuck Schumer, about a year
ago, he was on a, being interviewed. And he said that he's fully, he didn't use
the word lockstep, but more or less, fully on board, fully in agreement with both Warren
and Sanders.
Given Sanders and Warren's critique of Wall
Street and Schumer's role as the Wall Street Democrat that's a little rich. Here's Cuomo saying he's in lockstep with
Sanders. How do you, let's go to two issues. One, them wanting to cozy up to Sanders says
something about moving the Democratic Party, at least in rhetoric, closer, closer to Sanders.
On the other hand, if Sanders is really going
to deliver a message he has to not just critique the oligarch in the generality or abstract,
he has to really take on some of these individual politicians that clearly are allied with finance. EUGENE PURYEAR: Yeah, I think those are important
points. And I think you look at these politicians,
I would say mostly the Cuomos, the Schumers, I mean, they're just lying. I mean, just a couple of years ago Andrew
Cuomo wrote a book saying that the progressive left was the biggest problem in the Democratic
Party.
But you see what happened in the primaries,
and even if you look at states like Mississippi, and you look at the exit polls where Clinton
dominated, you can see the vast majority of people who voted said in the CNN exit poll
that they would be fine if Bernie Sanders was the candidate. I'm talking about 75-80 percent of people. So the reality is is I think most rank and
file people who consider themselves Democrats, Democratic-leaning progressive people, even
if they're not 100 percent with Sanders aren't out put out by the things that he's saying. And so the Cuomo's of the world, the Schumers
of the world, have to do something to tack to the left a little bit here.
I agree with the point you're making in terms
of the need to turn this real. I mean, I think the biggest problem that Cynthia
Nixon has, I would say, is Bill de Blasio, who was backed by many of the same people
who are backing her, who was supposed to be a progressive, transformative mayor. He ran on the issue of dealing with the police
and mass incarceration. He has actually completely failed at that.
He has not ended stop and frisk. He's backed the police officers in a number
of extraordinarily criminal shootings of black people in New York. He's pushed a massive gentrification plan
under the guise of rezoning, claiming that it's producing affordable housing. So no wonder that you have low voter turnout,
because I think consistently what you see, and what I think people in New York see, is
that even a lot of the so-called progressive organizations aren't willing to aggressively
challenge the status quo once they actually get in office.
And I think that in places like New York,
in places like D.C., Seattle, San Francisco, Chicago, we continually see this, where the
Democrats claim to be so progressive, but when they actually get in office they're essentially,
you know, really essentially outsourcing a significant amount of their policy to the
corporate status quo, and just doing enough to superficially appear to be better than
Republicans in states like Oklahoma. PAUL JAY: Moumita, unions on the whole are
not supporting Cynthia Nixon in this fight against Cuomo. What is going to happen with Our Revolution? Our Revolution is fairly decentralized. I guess there's one in New York.
Is Our Revolution going to support Nixon? MOUMITA AHMED: Yes, they already have, actually. The Our Revolution group in New York City
is called NYPAN, New York Progressive Action Network. And they just endorsed Cynthia Nixon this
weekend. And there are grassroots chapters across every
borough for NYPAN, and we will be all fighting to help her get elected.
So even though Bernie himself has not endorsed,
his grassroots community in New York, which made thousands and thousands of phone calls
for him during the 2016 primaries, I think it came in second next to California for the
number of phone calls made across the country. Well, that well-oiled grassroots machine is
backing Cynthia right now. So even if Bernie hasn't quite made that leap
yet, I believe the fact that his grassroots, the entirety of his grassroots from the Working
Families Party, to NYPAN and other progressive organizations that also endorsed Bernie during
the campaign are behind Cynthia speaks volumes about where the grassroots, where the wind
is blowing in terms of-. PAUL JAY: Why, why do you think the unions
aren't supporting her? Or I should say, at least the majority of
the unions.
MOUMITA AHMED: I think the unions, I can't
really speak for the unions, but I believe it is because Cuomo has a very, he's very
vengeful. And we've already seen him start threatening
these community organizations that are funded by unions, that help provide legal support
to people of color. And he has threatened them, threatened to
defund them, because they endorse Cynthia Nixon. And that, this is this a behavior of Andrew
Cuomo that has existed for years.
Like even when we ran Zephyr Teachout against
Andrew Cuomo, he created a ballot line called the Women's Equality Party, led by him, a
man. Just to put Working Families Party in its
place because they even, you know , fathomed to challenge Governor Cuomo, or just because
they, because they suggested to him that we are going to run Zephyr if you don't, you
know, give us A, B, and C. So you know, this is, this is what I believe. Again, I can't speak for the unions.
But when you have a governor who has publicly
said in the past that he is waging a war against the unions, it puts them in a very difficult
place, especially when they have to look out for their members and, you know, working class
people who are part of their membership, and to stay at the bargaining table. The last thing they would want, I assume,
is a governor who is this vengeful with real estate developers, all these powerful people
in [inaudible] backing him. PAUL JAY: All right. Thank you very much, all my guests.
And thank you for joining us on the Real News
Network. We'll continue to follow this race in New
York, as well as primaries across the country, and then as we head into the elections. Thanks for joining us on the Real News..
Sanders' camp and Governor Cuomo and such. Cynthia Nixon, who's running in a primary
against the Democratic Governor Cuomo in New York.
It came out, according to The New York Daily
News that Bernie Sanders was not going to endorse Cynthia Nixon. Well, Cuomo then came out with a statement,
said, well, why would Sanders endorse Cynthia Nixon, because we're in lockstep with Senator
Sanders on all issues. Well, then a senior adviser to Bernie Sanders
came out with this tweet. Ari Rabin-Havt, I hope I'm pronouncing it
right, writes: The idea that Andrew Cuomo and Bernie Sanders are lockstep on policy
is 100 % Grade A American bullshit.
Well, so just what is Bernie Sanders' attitude
toward Cynthia Nixon, and why is Cynthia Nixon running against Cuomo, when apparently, according
to another senior adviser in the Sanders office, Cuomo actually has passed and supports some
progressive legislation, like a $15 minimum wage, and easier access to college, and so
on. So now joining us to talk about this is, first
of all, from Wallingford Connecticut, Alexandra Rojas. She's the Campaigns Director for Justice Democrats,
a progressive political action committee founded in January of 2017. Moumita Ahmed is a grassroots organizer with
People for Bernie Sanders and co-founder of the group Millennials Revolution, previously
known as Millennials for Bernie Sanders.
And Moumita is actually doing some digital
campaign work for the Nixon, Cynthia Nixon campaign, but I should stress is not here
speaking for the campaign. And Eugene Puryear. Hes a journalist, author, and activist. He's co-founder of Stop Police Terror Project
D.C., And a member of DC's Movement for Black Lives steering committee.
So first of all, let me go to Moumita. So you're kind of closest to all of this thing. What do you make of this, first of all, what
went on with is Sanders endorsing, not endorsing, and such. MOUMITA AHMED: I think Bernie Sanders is busy
campaigning around the country for Medicare for All and college for all, and other progressive
issues.
So to drag him into a very local race, and
asking him for an endorsement so early on, it puts everybody in a very difficult position,
including Bernie Sanders. But I will say this. Andrew Cuomo is not aligned with Bernie Sanders
in any way. And he is, in fact, quite the opposite.
99 Percent of his campaign donations come
from super PACs, and the majority of his donors have given him over $200 worth of campaign
donations. Maybe like 1 percent of that out of all of
that, in the entirety of the donations that he receives. Which is quite, which is opposite of Bernie
Sanders, whose average donation was $27. PAUL JAY: Alexandra, Bernie Sanders has to
walk a fairly fine line in these kinds of races.
He's encouraging, and the organization Our
Revolution, which he helped give birth to, although he's not involved in the day to day,
as far as we know, is really promoting primary-ing conservative and corporate Democrats, as they're
called. On the other hand, Sanders really can't afford
to alienate the whole Democratic Party establishment. He needs some of them to win if he's going
to run the primary in 2020. How do you think this Cynthia Nixon-Cuomo
thing fits into this, and Sanders' problem in this? ALEXANDRA ROJAS: I think, I think Bernie can
play a big role here.
I know that he has to be careful, but him
challenging the establishment last time showed that he's willing to go up against the machine. And I think that's why people like him, right. He was able to get as far as he did even without
establishment support, and I totally agree that he's going to need some just to push
things forward, but he's the most popular politician in the country. People know, he went from being virtually
unknown last year to being a household name.
And he should leverage a lot of that power,
I think, to get even more involved in some of these primaries. He's been doing it with candidates like Marie
Newman, who ran against Dan Lipinski, and I think he really should, you know, consider
endorsing again another Democrat. You know, fighting another corporate Democrat,
especially when they're so in contradiction to his principles on not taking big corporate
money, and having that fund your race. You should be beholden to your voters instead
of your donors.
And as a progressive movement we should lean
into, I think, the biggest asset that we have, which is our integrity, is running on our
values. And I think that's the way that we win moving
forward. PAUL JAY: Eugene, Chuck Schumer, about a year
ago, he was on a, being interviewed. And he said that he's fully, he didn't use
the word lockstep, but more or less, fully on board, fully in agreement with both Warren
and Sanders.
Given Sanders and Warren's critique of Wall
Street and Schumer's role as the Wall Street Democrat that's a little rich. Here's Cuomo saying he's in lockstep with
Sanders. How do you, let's go to two issues. One, them wanting to cozy up to Sanders says
something about moving the Democratic Party, at least in rhetoric, closer, closer to Sanders.
On the other hand, if Sanders is really going
to deliver a message he has to not just critique the oligarch in the generality or abstract,
he has to really take on some of these individual politicians that clearly are allied with finance. EUGENE PURYEAR: Yeah, I think those are important
points. And I think you look at these politicians,
I would say mostly the Cuomos, the Schumers, I mean, they're just lying. I mean, just a couple of years ago Andrew
Cuomo wrote a book saying that the progressive left was the biggest problem in the Democratic
Party.
But you see what happened in the primaries,
and even if you look at states like Mississippi, and you look at the exit polls where Clinton
dominated, you can see the vast majority of people who voted said in the CNN exit poll
that they would be fine if Bernie Sanders was the candidate. I'm talking about 75-80 percent of people. So the reality is is I think most rank and
file people who consider themselves Democrats, Democratic-leaning progressive people, even
if they're not 100 percent with Sanders aren't out put out by the things that he's saying. And so the Cuomo's of the world, the Schumers
of the world, have to do something to tack to the left a little bit here.
I agree with the point you're making in terms
of the need to turn this real. I mean, I think the biggest problem that Cynthia
Nixon has, I would say, is Bill de Blasio, who was backed by many of the same people
who are backing her, who was supposed to be a progressive, transformative mayor. He ran on the issue of dealing with the police
and mass incarceration. He has actually completely failed at that.
He has not ended stop and frisk. He's backed the police officers in a number
of extraordinarily criminal shootings of black people in New York. He's pushed a massive gentrification plan
under the guise of rezoning, claiming that it's producing affordable housing. So no wonder that you have low voter turnout,
because I think consistently what you see, and what I think people in New York see, is
that even a lot of the so-called progressive organizations aren't willing to aggressively
challenge the status quo once they actually get in office.
And I think that in places like New York,
in places like D.C., Seattle, San Francisco, Chicago, we continually see this, where the
Democrats claim to be so progressive, but when they actually get in office they're essentially,
you know, really essentially outsourcing a significant amount of their policy to the
corporate status quo, and just doing enough to superficially appear to be better than
Republicans in states like Oklahoma. PAUL JAY: Moumita, unions on the whole are
not supporting Cynthia Nixon in this fight against Cuomo. What is going to happen with Our Revolution? Our Revolution is fairly decentralized. I guess there's one in New York.
Is Our Revolution going to support Nixon? MOUMITA AHMED: Yes, they already have, actually. The Our Revolution group in New York City
is called NYPAN, New York Progressive Action Network. And they just endorsed Cynthia Nixon this
weekend. And there are grassroots chapters across every
borough for NYPAN, and we will be all fighting to help her get elected.
So even though Bernie himself has not endorsed,
his grassroots community in New York, which made thousands and thousands of phone calls
for him during the 2016 primaries, I think it came in second next to California for the
number of phone calls made across the country. Well, that well-oiled grassroots machine is
backing Cynthia right now. So even if Bernie hasn't quite made that leap
yet, I believe the fact that his grassroots, the entirety of his grassroots from the Working
Families Party, to NYPAN and other progressive organizations that also endorsed Bernie during
the campaign are behind Cynthia speaks volumes about where the grassroots, where the wind
is blowing in terms of-. PAUL JAY: Why, why do you think the unions
aren't supporting her? Or I should say, at least the majority of
the unions.
MOUMITA AHMED: I think the unions, I can't
really speak for the unions, but I believe it is because Cuomo has a very, he's very
vengeful. And we've already seen him start threatening
these community organizations that are funded by unions, that help provide legal support
to people of color. And he has threatened them, threatened to
defund them, because they endorse Cynthia Nixon. And that, this is this a behavior of Andrew
Cuomo that has existed for years.
Like even when we ran Zephyr Teachout against
Andrew Cuomo, he created a ballot line called the Women's Equality Party, led by him, a
man. Just to put Working Families Party in its
place because they even, you know , fathomed to challenge Governor Cuomo, or just because
they, because they suggested to him that we are going to run Zephyr if you don't, you
know, give us A, B, and C. So you know, this is, this is what I believe. Again, I can't speak for the unions.
But when you have a governor who has publicly
said in the past that he is waging a war against the unions, it puts them in a very difficult
place, especially when they have to look out for their members and, you know, working class
people who are part of their membership, and to stay at the bargaining table. The last thing they would want, I assume,
is a governor who is this vengeful with real estate developers, all these powerful people
in [inaudible] backing him. PAUL JAY: All right. Thank you very much, all my guests.
And thank you for joining us on the Real News
Network. We'll continue to follow this race in New
York, as well as primaries across the country, and then as we head into the elections. Thanks for joining us on the Real News..
Sunday, September 6, 2015
Sam Nunberg Loses His Mind on Live TVThe Daily Show
Today, there was yet another
resignation. I know, shocking, shocking. Chief Economic Advisor
Gary Cohen quit today. Yeah.
So I think, at this point,
the White House staff is just John Kelly
and a fax machine that Jared isn't allowed to use. You know that right now the
White House has lost so many people, like, every week
somebody's leaving. And, like,
forget the White House. If an Applebee's lost
this many people, I'd think twice about
eating there.
I'd be like, "Something's going on.
Something's going on." But let's move on.
Let's move on. If you ever worked
with Donald Trump, there are two things that
terrify you. Sponge bath Thursdays, and Special Counsel
Robert Mueller, because for Trump
and his people, Robert Mueller is a daytime
horror movie, you know? He's methodically picking off
your friends one by one. But only from nine to five.
And yesterday,
we were introduced to Mueller's latest victim: a former Trump aide by the name
of Sam Nunberg, who was so freaked out when he
got a subpoena from Mueller, that he went on
national television and lost his goddamn mind. TV REPORTER: During a whirlwind
tour on cable news, former Trump campaign aide
Sam Nunberg insisted he would defy a
grand jury subpoena from Special Counsel
Robert Mueller. TV REPORTER: It unfolded live
during several hours of rambling and breathless
interviews on television. Why do I have to hand over
all my e-mails to-to a federal investigator? It's not fair.
It's really not fair.
They're not gonna send me
to jail. You know what, Mr. Mueller,
if he wants to send me to jail, he can send me to jail,
and then I'll, uh, and then I'll laugh about it. (Laughter) I've never seen anyone abandon a
threat midway through.
"I swear to God, if you punch
me, it's gonna hurt my face." (Laughter) Now, if you've never heard of
Sam Nunberg before, he was an early aide to
Donald Trump, who was hired, and fired, and, uh-- Oh,
and then he was fired again, this time for using the n-word
on Facebook. Yeah. Which is shocking to me that
someone got fired from the Trump campaign for
being racist. Like, I thought they hired
people based on that.
"It says here on your resume
the n-word. So when can you start?" So yesterday, Nunberg decided
to go on TV, and tell everyone
that he was not a snitch. And then he started snitching. I know Bob Mueller; I know, I know that whole team, and they-- and they're right, and they probably have something
on Trump.
Trump did something pretty bad. Look, Paul Manafort, Rick Gates, crooks, they were crooks. I think Carter Page colluded
with the Russians. Sara Huckabee is a terrible
press officer.
Trump is the most disloyal
person you're ever gonna meet. I mean, do you know the way I've
been treated by Donald Trump? I mean, I hate the guy. Do you think I was talking to
Corey and Hope Hicks, I mean, while they were having
their affair? Damn. Damn.
You know, I know the stereotype
is that women gossip, but every man
who works for Trump keeps proving that
stereotype wrong. Think about it. Scaramucci,
Bannon, and now Nunberg. These guys
are like human WikiLeaks.
The women, though,
they keep their shit on lock. Like, Kellyanne Conway
never snitches. Yeah. You actually leave
interviews with her knowing less
than when you started.
Sarah Huckabee Sanders--
Fort Knox. Hope Hicks?
She was communications director, and we never
even heard her speak. Now you understand.
There's a reason Black Panther rolls like this: women don't snitch. Yeah.
Think about it. Think about it. Two years later, we're still looking
for Hillary's e-mails, huh? Still. I see you, girl.
I see you. (Laughter and applause) The guys are all here. Because unlike Trump's women, Sam Nunberg
is the complete opposite. He spent the entire day blabbing
to any show that would have him.
He was on MSNBC. He was on NY1. He went on three different
CNN shows. He was so eager to dish that somehow he even ended up
on The Bachelor.
I wanted Trump to lose. I didn't care if Trump lost. I thought it would be funny. I don't even know what to say.
Yeah. And that wasn't even
the craziest thing about last night's episode. #TeamBecca. Uh...
Now, even for a Trump associate, Nunberg's appearances were
extremely erratic yesterday. You know, he was like if Fergie's national anthem
was a person. In fact, it got so bad that one of the hosts on MSNBC. Brought out a lawyer to try and help him on live TV.
And look at his face.
Look at his face when the reality
of the situation sinks in. I think your family
wants you home for Thanksgiving, and I hope you will testify. Isn't this ridiculous? No, it's not ridiculous, Sam. -I-Is it November? November?
-It is so not ridiculous.
You'd rather spend
possibly a year in jail -than 80 hours going through
e-mails? -Me? I'm not going... I'm not going to jail.
Do you think I'm going to jail? Sam Nunberg, Maya Wiley,
Barbara McQuade, thank you for... (Laughter and applause) That's the face of someone who
suddenly realizes he's screwed. He's like,
"I'm not going to jail.
"Oh, wait, I'm going to jail. I don't want
to drink toilet wine." And so, after five hours, after five hours of giving
interview after interview about how he would never
cooperate with Mueller, something clicked, and by the end of the night, Nunberg was singing
a completely different tune. You know what I was thinking
about today, by the way? -Hmm?
-I was thinking to save time-- I've been advised against this-- maybe I'll just give them
my password. My e-mail password.
'Cause why do I have to go...
So then you're gonna comply?
(Chuckles) Then I would comply, yes. Wow. So, after five hours
of a verbal car chase, it just ended with Nunberg
offering Mueller his password. Yeah.
Which-- let's be honest--
there's an 80% chance it's either "password123"
or "nunberg69." It's one of the two.
One of the two. And I'm sure
that Mueller appreciates that Nunberg might finally
be willing to cooperate, but I'm not sure
it's necessary anymore. Like, Nunberg's gonna walk
into Mueller's office and be like, "Okay, let's do it.
I'm ready to testify." And Mueller will be like,
"No, don't worry about it. "I have it all on my DVR.
You can go home, man.
You can go home.".
resignation. I know, shocking, shocking. Chief Economic Advisor
Gary Cohen quit today. Yeah.
So I think, at this point,
the White House staff is just John Kelly
and a fax machine that Jared isn't allowed to use. You know that right now the
White House has lost so many people, like, every week
somebody's leaving. And, like,
forget the White House. If an Applebee's lost
this many people, I'd think twice about
eating there.
I'd be like, "Something's going on.
Something's going on." But let's move on.
Let's move on. If you ever worked
with Donald Trump, there are two things that
terrify you. Sponge bath Thursdays, and Special Counsel
Robert Mueller, because for Trump
and his people, Robert Mueller is a daytime
horror movie, you know? He's methodically picking off
your friends one by one. But only from nine to five.
And yesterday,
we were introduced to Mueller's latest victim: a former Trump aide by the name
of Sam Nunberg, who was so freaked out when he
got a subpoena from Mueller, that he went on
national television and lost his goddamn mind. TV REPORTER: During a whirlwind
tour on cable news, former Trump campaign aide
Sam Nunberg insisted he would defy a
grand jury subpoena from Special Counsel
Robert Mueller. TV REPORTER: It unfolded live
during several hours of rambling and breathless
interviews on television. Why do I have to hand over
all my e-mails to-to a federal investigator? It's not fair.
It's really not fair.
They're not gonna send me
to jail. You know what, Mr. Mueller,
if he wants to send me to jail, he can send me to jail,
and then I'll, uh, and then I'll laugh about it. (Laughter) I've never seen anyone abandon a
threat midway through.
"I swear to God, if you punch
me, it's gonna hurt my face." (Laughter) Now, if you've never heard of
Sam Nunberg before, he was an early aide to
Donald Trump, who was hired, and fired, and, uh-- Oh,
and then he was fired again, this time for using the n-word
on Facebook. Yeah. Which is shocking to me that
someone got fired from the Trump campaign for
being racist. Like, I thought they hired
people based on that.
"It says here on your resume
the n-word. So when can you start?" So yesterday, Nunberg decided
to go on TV, and tell everyone
that he was not a snitch. And then he started snitching. I know Bob Mueller; I know, I know that whole team, and they-- and they're right, and they probably have something
on Trump.
Trump did something pretty bad. Look, Paul Manafort, Rick Gates, crooks, they were crooks. I think Carter Page colluded
with the Russians. Sara Huckabee is a terrible
press officer.
Trump is the most disloyal
person you're ever gonna meet. I mean, do you know the way I've
been treated by Donald Trump? I mean, I hate the guy. Do you think I was talking to
Corey and Hope Hicks, I mean, while they were having
their affair? Damn. Damn.
You know, I know the stereotype
is that women gossip, but every man
who works for Trump keeps proving that
stereotype wrong. Think about it. Scaramucci,
Bannon, and now Nunberg. These guys
are like human WikiLeaks.
The women, though,
they keep their shit on lock. Like, Kellyanne Conway
never snitches. Yeah. You actually leave
interviews with her knowing less
than when you started.
Sarah Huckabee Sanders--
Fort Knox. Hope Hicks?
She was communications director, and we never
even heard her speak. Now you understand.
There's a reason Black Panther rolls like this: women don't snitch. Yeah.
Think about it. Think about it. Two years later, we're still looking
for Hillary's e-mails, huh? Still. I see you, girl.
I see you. (Laughter and applause) The guys are all here. Because unlike Trump's women, Sam Nunberg
is the complete opposite. He spent the entire day blabbing
to any show that would have him.
He was on MSNBC. He was on NY1. He went on three different
CNN shows. He was so eager to dish that somehow he even ended up
on The Bachelor.
I wanted Trump to lose. I didn't care if Trump lost. I thought it would be funny. I don't even know what to say.
Yeah. And that wasn't even
the craziest thing about last night's episode. #TeamBecca. Uh...
Now, even for a Trump associate, Nunberg's appearances were
extremely erratic yesterday. You know, he was like if Fergie's national anthem
was a person. In fact, it got so bad that one of the hosts on MSNBC. Brought out a lawyer to try and help him on live TV.
And look at his face.
Look at his face when the reality
of the situation sinks in. I think your family
wants you home for Thanksgiving, and I hope you will testify. Isn't this ridiculous? No, it's not ridiculous, Sam. -I-Is it November? November?
-It is so not ridiculous.
You'd rather spend
possibly a year in jail -than 80 hours going through
e-mails? -Me? I'm not going... I'm not going to jail.
Do you think I'm going to jail? Sam Nunberg, Maya Wiley,
Barbara McQuade, thank you for... (Laughter and applause) That's the face of someone who
suddenly realizes he's screwed. He's like,
"I'm not going to jail.
"Oh, wait, I'm going to jail. I don't want
to drink toilet wine." And so, after five hours, after five hours of giving
interview after interview about how he would never
cooperate with Mueller, something clicked, and by the end of the night, Nunberg was singing
a completely different tune. You know what I was thinking
about today, by the way? -Hmm?
-I was thinking to save time-- I've been advised against this-- maybe I'll just give them
my password. My e-mail password.
'Cause why do I have to go...
So then you're gonna comply?
(Chuckles) Then I would comply, yes. Wow. So, after five hours
of a verbal car chase, it just ended with Nunberg
offering Mueller his password. Yeah.
Which-- let's be honest--
there's an 80% chance it's either "password123"
or "nunberg69." It's one of the two.
One of the two. And I'm sure
that Mueller appreciates that Nunberg might finally
be willing to cooperate, but I'm not sure
it's necessary anymore. Like, Nunberg's gonna walk
into Mueller's office and be like, "Okay, let's do it.
I'm ready to testify." And Mueller will be like,
"No, don't worry about it. "I have it all on my DVR.
You can go home, man.
You can go home.".
Tuesday, September 1, 2015
Russias deadly secret weapons REVEALED - and Putin has combat ROBOTS - DAILY NEWS
Russias deadly secret weapons REVEALED
- and Putin has combat ROBOTS. VLADIMIR Putin may have already announced
a hypersonic nuclear missile that is undetectable to western radar but he has kept a number
of other high-tech weapons a secret, including an unstoppable air-to-surface rocket and new
combat robots. Just before tensions with Moscow ratcheted
around the globe following the spy poisoning saga, the Russian President unveiled a string
of new weaponry. It included a new supersonic weapon that cannot
be tracked by anti-missile systems.
But he has a number of other surprises up
his sleeve, according to pro-Moscow website Russia Insider. It claims Russia's military are already equipped
with Kh-32 air-to-surface missiles. The rockets enter the stratosphere after being
launched before diving back down to earth with such speed and dexterity they cannot
be defended against, it is claimed. Those missiles, capable of carrying nuclear
warheads, could be potentially deadly to any surface target, military chiefs say.
They have a range of around 1,000km and can
hit speeds of 5,400km per hour, making them more advanced than anything in the US arsenal. Alongside the missiles, the Kremlin also claims
to have developed combat robots that can mount attacks on land. The contraptions are said to have been designed
to take on armoured enemy weaponry and can operate alongside drones. A four-legged machine dubbed the Lynx will
carry a machine gun and anti-tank guided missiles and is capable of travel across any terrain.
Moscow also has a number of bombs invisible
to radar. The Drels, or gliding bombs, were unveiled
in the brutal Syrian conflict and can soar through the skies for 30km. Mr Putin unveiled a series of new weapons
in early March ahead of his election victory. The despot bragged of underwater drones that
can carry nuclear warheads are also being tested by the secretive nation, the President
said.
Once operational, they could be used to strike
against aircraft and launch attacks on enemy shores. And the Russian leader said military chiefs
had an operational ballistic missile with a limitless range. He claimed the missile could not be stopped
by an US shield, as a video simulation played on a big screen. Mr Putin said a nuclear attack on any of Moscows
allies would be regarded as an attack on Russia itself and draw an immediate response.
It was unclear if he had a particular Russian
ally, such as Syria, in mind, but his comments looked like a warning to Washington not to
use tactical battlefield nuclear weapons. His remarks were greeted with scepticism in
the US, where officials cast doubt on whether Russia has added any new capabilities to its
nuclear arsenal beyond those already known to its military and intelligence agencies. The Pentagon, which recently announced a nuclear
policy revamp based partly on the bellicose posture from Moscow, said it was not surprised
by Mr Putins presentation. Pentagon spokeswoman Dana White said: Weve
been watching Russia for a long time.
Were not surprised. These weapons that are discussed have been
in development a very long time..
- and Putin has combat ROBOTS. VLADIMIR Putin may have already announced
a hypersonic nuclear missile that is undetectable to western radar but he has kept a number
of other high-tech weapons a secret, including an unstoppable air-to-surface rocket and new
combat robots. Just before tensions with Moscow ratcheted
around the globe following the spy poisoning saga, the Russian President unveiled a string
of new weaponry. It included a new supersonic weapon that cannot
be tracked by anti-missile systems.
But he has a number of other surprises up
his sleeve, according to pro-Moscow website Russia Insider. It claims Russia's military are already equipped
with Kh-32 air-to-surface missiles. The rockets enter the stratosphere after being
launched before diving back down to earth with such speed and dexterity they cannot
be defended against, it is claimed. Those missiles, capable of carrying nuclear
warheads, could be potentially deadly to any surface target, military chiefs say.
They have a range of around 1,000km and can
hit speeds of 5,400km per hour, making them more advanced than anything in the US arsenal. Alongside the missiles, the Kremlin also claims
to have developed combat robots that can mount attacks on land. The contraptions are said to have been designed
to take on armoured enemy weaponry and can operate alongside drones. A four-legged machine dubbed the Lynx will
carry a machine gun and anti-tank guided missiles and is capable of travel across any terrain.
Moscow also has a number of bombs invisible
to radar. The Drels, or gliding bombs, were unveiled
in the brutal Syrian conflict and can soar through the skies for 30km. Mr Putin unveiled a series of new weapons
in early March ahead of his election victory. The despot bragged of underwater drones that
can carry nuclear warheads are also being tested by the secretive nation, the President
said.
Once operational, they could be used to strike
against aircraft and launch attacks on enemy shores. And the Russian leader said military chiefs
had an operational ballistic missile with a limitless range. He claimed the missile could not be stopped
by an US shield, as a video simulation played on a big screen. Mr Putin said a nuclear attack on any of Moscows
allies would be regarded as an attack on Russia itself and draw an immediate response.
It was unclear if he had a particular Russian
ally, such as Syria, in mind, but his comments looked like a warning to Washington not to
use tactical battlefield nuclear weapons. His remarks were greeted with scepticism in
the US, where officials cast doubt on whether Russia has added any new capabilities to its
nuclear arsenal beyond those already known to its military and intelligence agencies. The Pentagon, which recently announced a nuclear
policy revamp based partly on the bellicose posture from Moscow, said it was not surprised
by Mr Putins presentation. Pentagon spokeswoman Dana White said: Weve
been watching Russia for a long time.
Were not surprised. These weapons that are discussed have been
in development a very long time..
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