Diwali's gone by. Didn't enjoy it that well too this time. Thought I'd get new gifts
from the neighbours. But still got the same old 'Son
Papadi' and juice packets.
'Son Papadi' is the Undertaker of Diwali. Entire year inside a grave. And in the news during Diwali. Even Colombus doesn't travel that much.
As much as a single house's 'Son
Papadi' travels around the colony. We got our own 'Son Papadi'
back after three days. Did you burst crackers? No man, don't even feel like it anymore. I only feel like lying on the terrace and
look at the colorful fireworks in the sky.
Its a different joy looking at
the fireworks while lying down. Right? So colorful. My fireworks are white. Did you put that face up anyone's ass? What happened?! Nothing.
Nothing?! How is this nothing? Look at your face. You've got hurt all over your face. What happened? I was playing cricket. The bowler bowled
a bouncer, and it hit me on my face.
That means, the ball first hit you here. Then here. And then on your forehead. Yes.
Three bouncers on three balls. Even thouh I haven't
played cricket, but even I. Know only two bouncers
are allowed in an over. How did the umpire even let him bowl? I wasn't playing in a stadium.
I was playing in the streets. There's no umpire over there. But when we used to play in the
streets, I used to be the umpire. Lazy.
Only used to finger. But these aren't the marks of being hit by a ball. Tell me honestly now. I was performing wheelies on
a cycle, and I fell down.
I haven't studied much Physics,
but even I know when a person falls during a wheelie, he'll
break his back, not his face. Yeah. Sorry, sorry... I was doing a stoppie.
I haven't ridden many cycles but... You haven't done anything, but
you still know everything!? Now you're just bullshitting.
Tell me honestly what happened. I got into a fight. With who? Vicky Khosla.
His mother's crowded vag**a... Bro, bro, bro, bro... Why did you fight? Did you punch him or no? I did, I did! But I missed all of them, mother****er. Meaning? My eyesight became foggy
right after his first punch.
And I just kept hitting in the air then. The punches were coming
from somewhere else then. But why did you guys fight? You don't call this a fight. In a fight, punches are
thrown from both the sides.
But our brother, only scratches his pe***. For what reason did you get beat up? Fu**er told me he'll get
me an iPhone X for cheap. Get the money and meet
me near the old fort. I also said okay and I went.
I came home and opened the box, and found a Nokia 3310. I said, " He betrayed his own brother?" He said iPhone X and what
came out was a 3310?! Only this much respect I've left now? Its called iPhone ten, not X, fu**er. A guy who bathes with a mug,
wants to jump in the pool now. You'll hold mine and swing then ? Whatever it is man! Since childhood, my luck's only been bad.
One day, I got a 'Tekken' CD. And 'Mahabharat' came out of it. I said, "Let's just watch this only then." But it was dubbed in Russian. This will only happen if
you buy cheap things.
You're an innocent animal. You can't handle the
reality of this jungle. Become a giraffe if you want to. Not everyone can take him on.
I called the fu**er, and he said
come to the mall. So I went. I said, "Vicky, there seems
to be a misunderstanding. In an iPhone's box,
a Nokia came out." So he said," The phone's
a look alike of you." I said, " On my Facebook Messenger's
other folder, there's a line of girls waiting to talk to me.
And you're
saying the phone's a look alike of me?" When I swipe right on Tinder, I get to
know, the girl's already super liked me. And he's saying the phone's
a look alike of me? Granted, I haven't been able to keep a
girlfriend for long, but atleast it was mutual. And he's saying the phone's my look alike? I said,"Bro, you please
give me my money back." He said he won't give the money
back, because he's already shopped with it. It felt like the ground
moved from below my feet.
Obviously you'll get a shock. No no, I was standing on an escalator,
and it suddenly started moving. So I took an entire round
and came back down, and made him understand,
that this is wrong. Then? He said," At the speed
with which you came here with, get out of here
with the same speed now." Then I got really angry.
Well done! I turned and walked away. Then I heard "Listen, tell your dad to make
you wear Lisa's bangles." I agreed since I had embarrassed
myself in front of girls And hopefully a truck driver would kill me "Oye impotent, are you going to your asshole friends?" Look... You'll are the worlds biggest assholes But you are my assholes And no one else has the
right to call you assholes! I turned. I caught his collar
and said, "Listen here you 2 cent m..." What?! "Listen here you 2 cent m..." What's mmm...
? I was going to say
man but he hit me He hit my bro!
Call him we'll teach him a lesson "Hello" "Listen here!" If you tell anyone about today
Ill hammer you Just becuase you begged on my feet
Otherwise i would have made you a ghost You begged him?! "And take the Rs50 for carrying my shopping bag" You were carrying his bag?! You shold've wiped his ass also for him. Have you guys seen Godfather? "-I'll make you an offer you can't refuse" "Spit out the tabacco, pimp" Dont get so cocky You'll know what happens to
those who beat my friends Come outside in 30mins And tell your mom to keep out a balm. Bam is coming! Sameer, take out the scooty keys. What is the address?
- I don''t know Wtf you dont know the address of
the person we are going to beat, Asshole! Call hiim again! Did you get so scared that
you forgot give your address Lane 11, Gunda Nagar.
I can hear your voice stammer
Thats how scary we are Whenever you see an old
newspaper or your enemy's ass Tear it!! Get your bat Get your scooty and come to his place How will you come? On my scooty, no trippling. Law-abiding ganster!! Guys, go hard or go home. That's what she said Why didnt you tell
us he had 2 brothers How the fuck would I know He beat me like how clothes
get rinsed at the Dhobi Ghat What happened?? Where were you??? To fill fuel in my bike becasue of you assholes I got beat again What happened Mommy, we are actually practising for a play Hey listen, my tomatoes are rotten
Go return them Where did you get them from? Lane 11, Gunda Nagar Tell them the tomatoes should be red Had gone to beat one
but were confronted by a gang Go get the red tomatoes with your red bum..
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