- Steven Bannon. So I don't know if you've
seen this book has come out, or they've released
excerpts from a book that is going to come out where basically the
Trump campaign allowed a journalist to hang out
with them for months, right? The Trump presidency they
allowed him in the White House and this guy just hung out
and he was just in the room apparently and no
one thought about it and they just carried
on with their lives. (Audience laughing) And then now he's like, all right so I wrote a book. (Audience laughing) And the people are
like wait, what? He's like yeah, I wrote a book.
And they're like where did
you write the book from? He's like oh I was in the room. And they're like wait. Wait is that why you
were in the room? He's like yeah, why did you
think I was in the room? (Audience laughing) I mean we don't know. We just have people in the room.
We don't know. And now there's a
book that's coming out and I mean some of
it seems salacious, don't get me wrong but
there are some parts of it where you go like oh I
can see this happening and now Steve Bannon
came out like in the book he's made these statements and Trump has come
out and slammed him. What I find interesting
about Donald Trump is his go-to attack for any
person that goes against him and his campaign is
basically straight up, I don't know who this is. (Audience laughing) That's what he did
with Steve Bannon.
He's like, "Steven
Bannon didn't help me. I don't know him. He had a tiny role." He was your chief strategist
in the White House. And you're like, "He was like tiny, like didn't
even do anything major." (Audience laughing) I can tell you now if one
of Trump's son turns on him, he will disavow him so.
He'll be like, "Wasn't
even my sperm." (Audience laughing) "Didn't come from me.".
Sunday, April 29, 2018
Tuesday, April 24, 2018
The PreparationsExams - Part 3VIVA
Can you guys even think? One writes what he likes One likes what the other writes One copy pastes the question paper And the other writes "then-this-thus-dhum-dhadle-Rafa Nadel" One says he himself is physics Do I look like a hutch-puppy? To pass your exams for all the crap you write? It is our mutual understanding sir, Whatever we write, you pass us I am cancelling this exam Come prepared for a fresh exam tomorrow [Enlightened Music] Come buddy, lets start tearing the text book! It is this tearing got our lives torn What the heck! Lets start, we don't have time TIME!! Do you remember? We were given a full year of time to study But what are we doing? Tearing slips! (Proudly) Puppy shame on us bro! At least once, lets study and write exams sincerely without copying Did you fall upside down? Buddy, all these years we got caught by our teachers. Its big time we start using our petty brains and earn our SELF-RESPECT! YES! I second you. Lets march! Mom, I have an exam tomorrow! Don't switch on the TV and disturb me Lets see who will switch on the TV first... Hello? Phone: Hey, Kohli just started batting! Is it? Yay! Chillax, let me start after an hour What do you want? No hurries...
Let him go first. I will wait. Tell me now, what do you want? As you can see the page numbers here... Just need a simple Micro-xerox Darn!! YES!! Respect? Self-Respect?! Lets do what we are best at! Hey brother! What are these Micro-xerox's for? Project work bro!! Huh? Even I did so many projects like these and finally set up this shop! What the clock!? It is six already...
"If you see this video, You will be shocked" Oh?! It is a must watch then! * Salman Khan is getting married* This time all answer papers should be in range!!! Bro, Shall we start? Think logically. We don't have the time. You study two chapters. I'll study another two.
You study the remaining two. Ten in the night we will share our enlightenment You are super Genius. Done! Yes man, this time lets score 100 marks! First, lets get pass-mark! I think this question might come? Yeah Looks like this is important Is it? We got this last year This is the only question I wrote last year This one is for sure shot Ten marks guaranteed question! Two marks question This one too Also this... This one too...
Yo this is sure! Yeah... That's my boy! C'mon.. Fast up.. C'mon.
More... Morer... Morest... Tear those too Dude, lets save some time! I will tear, you fold Ha...
Such intelligence Hahaha... So funny! I am really shocked! Not surprised! Let us start after dinner. I saw something like this somewhere!? Such a delightful enlightened throwback! I think I am sleepy. So one should sleep I will wake up like a good boy at 3 AM and study Talking in the phone: Roses are red, violets are blue...
Sugar is sweet so, who are you? What the alarm! I slept just now, how come it is 3 already? Lets wake up at 4 AM. Lets sleep for 1 more hour and lets wake up afresh. Just an hour more. Fair deal To be honest, I think I know all the answers.
Just a glimpse is enough. Lets wake up at 6 AM. Its bloody 6. It won't be wise if I sleep now! What the!? Its 7! When did I sleep again? Holy mother of physics I think I will fail by 1 mark At least, I will see the side headings! My dear God! Please Pass me...
I will come to Tirupathi God, if I pass the exam, I will donate to your temple God...Gawd...Gaaaawd! God...Make sure I write well. I will come to Madurai! I will come to Puri Varanasi Badrinath ISCKON. Rishikesh Shiridi Bangkok! Which God stays there? God is everywhere ma! This time I have pinned all my slips to my jean... Not even CID can find Finally I'll pass in finals Welcome kids! Feel like home...
Ma?! Uncle?! Brother?! He booked us big time Real big time Did I write my exam or not?.
Let him go first. I will wait. Tell me now, what do you want? As you can see the page numbers here... Just need a simple Micro-xerox Darn!! YES!! Respect? Self-Respect?! Lets do what we are best at! Hey brother! What are these Micro-xerox's for? Project work bro!! Huh? Even I did so many projects like these and finally set up this shop! What the clock!? It is six already...
"If you see this video, You will be shocked" Oh?! It is a must watch then! * Salman Khan is getting married* This time all answer papers should be in range!!! Bro, Shall we start? Think logically. We don't have the time. You study two chapters. I'll study another two.
You study the remaining two. Ten in the night we will share our enlightenment You are super Genius. Done! Yes man, this time lets score 100 marks! First, lets get pass-mark! I think this question might come? Yeah Looks like this is important Is it? We got this last year This is the only question I wrote last year This one is for sure shot Ten marks guaranteed question! Two marks question This one too Also this... This one too...
Yo this is sure! Yeah... That's my boy! C'mon.. Fast up.. C'mon.
More... Morer... Morest... Tear those too Dude, lets save some time! I will tear, you fold Ha...
Such intelligence Hahaha... So funny! I am really shocked! Not surprised! Let us start after dinner. I saw something like this somewhere!? Such a delightful enlightened throwback! I think I am sleepy. So one should sleep I will wake up like a good boy at 3 AM and study Talking in the phone: Roses are red, violets are blue...
Sugar is sweet so, who are you? What the alarm! I slept just now, how come it is 3 already? Lets wake up at 4 AM. Lets sleep for 1 more hour and lets wake up afresh. Just an hour more. Fair deal To be honest, I think I know all the answers.
Just a glimpse is enough. Lets wake up at 6 AM. Its bloody 6. It won't be wise if I sleep now! What the!? Its 7! When did I sleep again? Holy mother of physics I think I will fail by 1 mark At least, I will see the side headings! My dear God! Please Pass me...
I will come to Tirupathi God, if I pass the exam, I will donate to your temple God...Gawd...Gaaaawd! God...Make sure I write well. I will come to Madurai! I will come to Puri Varanasi Badrinath ISCKON. Rishikesh Shiridi Bangkok! Which God stays there? God is everywhere ma! This time I have pinned all my slips to my jean... Not even CID can find Finally I'll pass in finals Welcome kids! Feel like home...
Ma?! Uncle?! Brother?! He booked us big time Real big time Did I write my exam or not?.
Thursday, April 19, 2018
The Latest Craze Homemade Slime
(KS) TIME NOW FOR. EYEWITNESS NEWS CALL. 12 FOR ACTION... D-I-Y SLIME IS THE LATEST.
CRAZE AMONG TEENS AND. TWEENS. (MM) IT'S MADE OUT OF. HOUSE-HOLD PRODUCTS.
INCLUDING ---BORAX... WHICH IS OFTEN USED AS. A LAUNDRY BOOSTER AND. CLEANING PRODUCT.
SO SOME PARENTS MAY. WONDER - IS SLIME SAFE. FOR MY KIDS? EYEWITNESS NEWS--- CONSUMER REPORTER. SUSAN CAMPBELL JOINS.
US NOW WITH WHAT SHE'S. LEARNED. (SC) SLIME IS EVERYWHERE. KIDS ARE MAKING IT..
AND POSTING VIDEOS. ONLINE. THEY'RE SELLING IT AT. SCHOOL..
AND PARENTS SAY - STORES - HAVE EVEN. SOLD OUT OF SOME OF. THE INGREDIENTS. IT STRETCHES...
IT PULLS.. THIS... IS HOMEMADE SLIME... I just really like it OLIVIA BORDELEAU LEARNED.
HOW MAKE SLIME BY WATCHING. ONLINE VIDEOS... You have to use glue and you can use laundry detergent or you can use borax and contact solution. I use borax and contact solution.
Then you just mix that together. ONCE SHE MASTERED THE. MIXTURE - SHE GOT ALL OF HER. FRIENDS - INTO IT.
I think it's just satisfying to play with and to just make it it's so much fun! BECAUSE ONE OF THE. INGREDIENTS IS BORAX... SOME. PARENTS HAVE ASKED - IS.
SLIME SAFE? WE WENT TO DR. JASON HACK. AT RHODE ISLAND HOSPITAL. FOR THE ANSWER.
It's made of fairly benign ingredients. It's a small amount of borax. It's not absorbed through the skin. It would take eating a lot of it to actually become toxic.
The only one caveat is it's not too pleasant if you get the dust in your eyes. DR. HACK SAYS YOU SHOULD. ALSO CHECK - TO MAKE SURE.
THE GLUE THAT'S GOING INTO. THE SLIME IS SAFE... DO THAT BY LOOKING FOR THIS. ACMI - APPROVED PRODUCT.
SEAL. Any of the glues you use, almost all of the elmers glues are acmi designated as approvided product, which is designated non-toxic. BOTTOM LINE - DR. HACK.
SAYS... SLIME IS SAFE. This is happening in my home. I.
Have a daughter who's making slime of various colors it's a great activity. (SC) DR. HACK SAYS IF YOU. GET BORAX POWDER IN.
YOUR EYES - RINSE THEM. WITH WATER. (SC) IF YOU HAVE A CONSUMER. PROBLEM YOU NEED HELP.
SOLVING - CONTACT OUR. CALL 12 FOR ACTION. CENTER MONDAY THRU. THURSDAY FROM 11 UNTIL.
1 - OUR HOTLINE IS 228-.
CRAZE AMONG TEENS AND. TWEENS. (MM) IT'S MADE OUT OF. HOUSE-HOLD PRODUCTS.
INCLUDING ---BORAX... WHICH IS OFTEN USED AS. A LAUNDRY BOOSTER AND. CLEANING PRODUCT.
SO SOME PARENTS MAY. WONDER - IS SLIME SAFE. FOR MY KIDS? EYEWITNESS NEWS--- CONSUMER REPORTER. SUSAN CAMPBELL JOINS.
US NOW WITH WHAT SHE'S. LEARNED. (SC) SLIME IS EVERYWHERE. KIDS ARE MAKING IT..
AND POSTING VIDEOS. ONLINE. THEY'RE SELLING IT AT. SCHOOL..
AND PARENTS SAY - STORES - HAVE EVEN. SOLD OUT OF SOME OF. THE INGREDIENTS. IT STRETCHES...
IT PULLS.. THIS... IS HOMEMADE SLIME... I just really like it OLIVIA BORDELEAU LEARNED.
HOW MAKE SLIME BY WATCHING. ONLINE VIDEOS... You have to use glue and you can use laundry detergent or you can use borax and contact solution. I use borax and contact solution.
Then you just mix that together. ONCE SHE MASTERED THE. MIXTURE - SHE GOT ALL OF HER. FRIENDS - INTO IT.
I think it's just satisfying to play with and to just make it it's so much fun! BECAUSE ONE OF THE. INGREDIENTS IS BORAX... SOME. PARENTS HAVE ASKED - IS.
SLIME SAFE? WE WENT TO DR. JASON HACK. AT RHODE ISLAND HOSPITAL. FOR THE ANSWER.
It's made of fairly benign ingredients. It's a small amount of borax. It's not absorbed through the skin. It would take eating a lot of it to actually become toxic.
The only one caveat is it's not too pleasant if you get the dust in your eyes. DR. HACK SAYS YOU SHOULD. ALSO CHECK - TO MAKE SURE.
THE GLUE THAT'S GOING INTO. THE SLIME IS SAFE... DO THAT BY LOOKING FOR THIS. ACMI - APPROVED PRODUCT.
SEAL. Any of the glues you use, almost all of the elmers glues are acmi designated as approvided product, which is designated non-toxic. BOTTOM LINE - DR. HACK.
SAYS... SLIME IS SAFE. This is happening in my home. I.
Have a daughter who's making slime of various colors it's a great activity. (SC) DR. HACK SAYS IF YOU. GET BORAX POWDER IN.
YOUR EYES - RINSE THEM. WITH WATER. (SC) IF YOU HAVE A CONSUMER. PROBLEM YOU NEED HELP.
SOLVING - CONTACT OUR. CALL 12 FOR ACTION. CENTER MONDAY THRU. THURSDAY FROM 11 UNTIL.
1 - OUR HOTLINE IS 228-.
Saturday, April 14, 2018
The Kapil Sharma Show - - Ep -128 - A Gentleman in Kapil's Show - 19th August, 2017
Whoa! Good evening and welcome
to 'The Kapil Sharma Show.' The day isn't a lucky one today. Jacqueline was here,
Jacqueline Fernandez. She needed some money. I only had Rs.
10, 000
And she asked for Rs. 8000. Actually,
my mood is a little off today. Because Mr.
Sidhu
is unwell today. Get well soon, Mr. Sidhu,
we miss you. But to cheer up my mood we have invited an old
friend of ours here.
You all know her very well. In the world of laughter, she
is known as The Laughter Queen. A man can go crazy after
listening to her laugh! With a resounding
round of applause please welcome
Archana Puran Singh. Whoa! - A huge round of applause for Archana Puran Singh.
"You called me" "and I came over running." So sweet! We have been
friends for so long. We have done a lot of
shows on this very channel. And today, you are here. Looking at you,
I feel my uncle is here! No matter if what we said
was good or not..
- Yes. ... We used to shoot
all night long. And I am delighted to see you
here again.
- Thank you. Please welcome. The throne is yours today.
- Thank you. Okay, let me tell you all Ms.
Archana and Sony TV have
an old bond. - Yes. The telecast of movie
'Sooryavansham' on Setmax and Archana's presence of SonyTV. Cannot be stopped by anyone.
She can appear on
any SonyTV show. Wherever SonyTv shows are shot she goes to check if
there's an empty spot. The other day, she entered
the sets of 'Indian Idol.' They said, "Ma'am, you can't
sit here. Do you how to sing?" She replied, "Does
Anu Malik know?" They said, "But he knows
how to play an instrument." She said, "Ask my husband
Parmeet how well I play!" You have started again, I see! By the way, do you remember
all we used to say on the show? Ms.
Archana stays
in Madh Island. You have to catch a ferry
to come across. - Yes. Sometimes,
the shooting is too early.
But she reaches early
even if there is traffic as she takes the ferry. So, once she was on the ferry
and the ferry ticket was Rs. 20. She replied that she
forgot her purse at home.
But she was told she has
to purchase the ticket. So, she just jumped into
the water and got two fish out. And said, "Here are two fish
for Rs. 150, Return my change." Your stories from Madh Island
are unforgettable.
- Yes. Do you remember? Once,
this man was on a motor boat. And she was in a row boat with
wooden paddles. - Really? She was rowing the boat with
one paddle by herself.
- Okay. The guy on the motor boat said, "Such a popular actress
and is traveling by this boat?" He said that and left
but she got enraged. She dropped the paddle,
inserted her hands in the water and captured two alligators,
used them as propellers and overtook the motor boat. I have learnt a valuable
lesson from you, ma'am, No matter how dire the condition laugh whole-heartedly
and always stay happy.
You-You might know
this or might not she is so jovial that when
she was born, with due respect she was laughing
to such an extent.. The people who came to bless her
by singing and dancing said they will
charge Rs. 11, 000. Her parents said, "You charge
Rs.
1 Lakh, just take her away! I'am so happy to see you, ma'am.
- Thank you. I love you so much.
- I love you too. Ms. Archana,
since you are here today we have invited a handsome
guest for you.
Today's guest on the show is a gentleman, who is
good-looking, amiable and risky. Please welcome the very handsome
Sidharth Malhotra and the very beautiful
and the very talented and my second true love
and almost my wife Jacqueline Fernandez. Okay! Thank you so much,
thanks a lot! Thank you so much for so much
love. - You were amazing.
You were amazing, Kapil!
- Hey! - Yes! You danced wonderfully,
my goodness! - Yes. - You did? I made the dance look lively! Let's have a huge round
of applause for Jacqueline and Sidharth Malhotra. What's up? Welcome to both of you,
Sidharth and Jacqueline. Thank you.
- Hug me, both of you.
You go first, Jacqueline. Welcome..
- Yes! Thank you. So, this beautiful
couple's movie is releasing it's called 'A Gentleman.'
- Yes. Good-looking, amiable and risky.
- Absolutely.
And this man has hit the jackpot
by the grace of God. He is romancing
Jacqueline in the movie and that too, in a double role. And I get to meet
her every 3-4 months only for a few seconds when
her movie up for release and we have to suffice with
this for the entire year. So, actually,
I am the gentleman.
But she also makes the lead
actor work too hard at the action sequences
and dance numbers. Being good-looking and amiable
isn't enough for her. - Okay. She wants a little extra.
- Extra! Actually, Sidharth, I wanted
to know.
- Yes. How can a good-looking
and amiable guy.. - Yes. ...
Be risky? - Why not?
After a few shots of whisky! So, when we watch the preview
of 'A Gentleman' - Right. What does it disclose?
I will tell you. This beautiful girl here doesn't want a good-looking, amiable man Correct.
- Who works in a 9-5 job. Do you know?
I also don't work a 9-5 job.
I work from 9-10,
that too, I missed some. Why did you have it confess
your love to me in riddles? Actually, Kapil, we are
a married couple. - Hey! When did this happen?
- We got married. When? - Next year.
I mean, last year! If you would have
gotten married last year something would have
happened by next year! All that is forgotten! You have forgotten me after
marriage.
- I forgot it all. Okay, Jacqueline's birthday
is on the 11th of August. Happy birthday.
- Thank you. Belated happy birthday.
- Thank you.
Okay, that's enough!
It's done. - No, actually.. It's belated, so the embrace has
to be longer. - Right! So, 11th of August in numerology
is the number 2.
And my birthday is
on the 2nd of April. That's also 2. "Two and Two is Four.." Do you know what that means?
- No. Do you know the multiplication
tables? Two..
- Four.
- Two times, yes, four. - Six. 2, 4, 6, 8, 10.
- Yes. How you sing?
Because our math is too weak so, we memorise the tune.
- Oh! "Two times two is four.."
- Oh! "Two times four is eight."
Like that.
Is this not how
you memorise them? No.
- You belong to educated homes. You have breakfast with
butter to sharpen your brain. Our brain doesn't work as
we have leafy vegetables. Sidharth, that's how it's done
in North India.
- Indeed. How did you memorise
math tables in Delhi? In the same way. B-But we
used to say in English too. Show me how,
I am very curious to know.
"Two times two.."
- You go, why should I? "Two times two is four."
- Yes. Four times four is?
- "Four times two is four!" Four?
- What four! I mean.. If kids hear me
recite the table my dignity will be ruined.
- Yes. I have an itchy hand.
But last year,
I went to my school and my math teacher was there,
waiting for me. I felt very happy. Come.
- Come. Okay, Sidharth here considers Karan Johar as his mentor.
Karan is the one
who launched him. So, before signing a movie,
he takes Karan's advice. But when Karan did
'Bombay Velvet' did he discuss it with you? I think he didn't
consult anyone! Even after doing the movie,
he isn't discussing it. I asked him about it.
He said he started
detesting it so much that he removed the velvet
from his couch as well. - Off! I was like really? I don't know if this is a rumour
or the truth, Jacqueline. Yes?
- Are you married? I received this email.. 'Dear Jacqueline Sharma.' Jacqueline Sharma!
- Jacqueline Sharma? 'I wanted to address
you as Fernandez' 'but I don't know the spelling.' 'Dear, since you
have married my son' 'all the people are wondering
when you will arrive here.' 'Dear, you sometimes
go to Sri Lanka' 'sometimes to America,
sometimes for your shooting.' 'When will you
come to Amritsar?' 'In case you have forgotten' 'I am sending a photograph
as proof.' Where is the photograph
she sent? Please, show it.
Hey.. That's you!
- Married and all! Oh, that's my mother! "Mother.. Dear mother." People keep harassing mom
about her daughter-in-law. She is unable to bear
this torture.
She is in hiding. She is unable to go to Amritsar or come to Mumbai.
- I'm extremely busy, sorry. She found some relatives
in Panipat and is hiding there. But mom..
Jacqueline remembers that we are married.
- Yes, a married couple. It might be fake but it's
fun to think about it. Okay, this is all fun and games. But in real life, if Jacqueline
happens to marry me..
- Yes. We won't get our marriage
certificate done in my city. But why?
- Because they can't spell her name.. Fernandez? That's your surname.
They won't be able to write
'Jacqueline'! Jacqueline, has
anybody given you a nickname apart from 'Jacky'? She had a nickname when
she was a kid. She used to feel happy
to hear that. And, what is that? Hyena. Hyena? They used to tease her
with this name because she used
to laugh like one.
She would laugh even more
after hearing her nickname. Let's try that now.
Hyena.. - Hyena. Like this..
- That's cute!
- It's one of its kind. This can
get a lot more loud! If I don't think of
good jokes.. I will just.. Hyena.
Sidharth, you have done the
entire movie with her. - Yes.. Being an Indian, did you ask her
which part of Sri Lanka produces such beautiful women? What special
coconut does she eat? And does she face
problems like we do? Have you ever heard
of furuncles? Oh, God! Kapil!
- Really.. I'm just..
What is that? Furuncle.. I mean.. You get infection..
- Okay. And it leaves a painful
swelling there..
Haven't you really
heard of it? Never. You get infection...
And what happens then? He's talking about boils..
- It's a kind of infection. Are you sure you have
never heard of it? No? That's so beautiful! Have you heard
of unhealthy belches? But how are
they connected to Sri Lanka? No, I know that there is
no connection between them. Listen..
Just because
you are a beautiful superstar.. Have you faced these
kind of problems? Oh! I got you. Belches.. - I don't know
about the other one you said..
No, this is something
very intense.. I mean.. Sour.. How do I tell her
what belch is..
Burp..
- Burp? I can burp.
- Show him. So beautiful! It is something
like picturising romance.. Can you do that? What? Do you think that's
how Indians burp? Right.. - We have many
kinds of people here.
Every state has its unique
style of burping. The style of South Indians
is different from the style of those in Punjab.. And again, Rajasthan
has its own style.. When they burp,
they spit out sand..
Trust me.. But she is sensitive. Even if she feels
like sneezing.. She won't let anyone know
it even in a conference.
Have you ever seen
Ms. Archana sneezing? She can't just sneeze like
any normal person. Let me show you.
- Oh! Ms. Archana I want to tell you something
about Sidharth.
- Go ahead. He is a very clever guy. The songs of his last
two movies were super hit. "That beautiful girl
took away my heart.." Okay? And what was
the other one? It's 'Kaala Chashma..'
- 'Kaala Chashma..' So, Badshah's rap in both
of those songs was very good.
They danced on it very well. He learned all of those
now. He's now doing everything
on his own. Yes! Wow!
- 'Bandook Meri Laila'.
He is playing a double role
and doing rap too. I fear that in his next film he will even play the role
of Jacqueline. Actually, we didn't get
any rapper.. So..
Ms. Archana,
Jacky's English is very fluent. And she is working in India
for so many years now. The chemistry between
you two is very good, isn't it? Yes, it is.
Then you have to ask these
questions to her. - Okay. You shouldn't show this
to her. These words are in English.
She has to translate
them in Hindi. Now that you are
an Indian girl.. You are married
to a Punjabi boy. Jacqueline Sharma.
It's very easy.
Here's goes the first one.. Red chilli. That's called 'Laal Mirchi'. Wow! It sounds like my
Hindi test.
I feel like I'm
in my tuition classes. Turmeric. Haldi. That's nice! Very nice! Cinnamon.
Hold on.. Is it 'Cheeni'? You are close.. 'Dal cheeni'? - Yes!
- Very nice! - Yes. Go, girl! I've tasted 'Kaju Curry'
prepared by Jacky.
It was really tasty.
- But when? Do you remember
that Farah's show? Yes. 'Kaju Curry'..
- Yes, it was so tasty.. It's a Sri Lankan dish.
- These rich people make these. We make ordinary Pakora curry.
- I made it myself.
We make onion Pakoras. You know Pakora curry?
- She's ready. Which one?
- Pakora curry. Pakora, No.
- No.. Curry..
- You know Pakora? Bread with Pakoras in it.
- Yes. Pakora Onion..
- Frying. Yes.
Take a big knife.
Cut it very fast.. - Okay. And then, slice it
again from the other side. Take some gram flour..
- Yes.
- Chilli powder.. - Yes. Salt.. - Yes.
- Take a frying pan.
Take lots of oil.
- Lots of oil.. Put them..
They'll start splattering.. And.. They will start splattering.
- Splattering..
Okay. Then..
Then.. He's boiling. - Okay.
- He's boiling? - Boiling..
He's cursing. He's abusing.
- Angry. - Why? And finally, he's dead! Because he became red. Then, take out one first.
Then, all of them, one by one.
And then, take some gram
flour again. Mix it with water. You'll have to mix it
with your hand. And then, wipe your hand.
The Pakoras in them..
As if you make them every day!
- Put them in the frying pan again.
- Okay. Again, it's boiling. Then, serve them. Five siblings
fight to get two Pakoras each.
This is our story.
- That was some story! That's the only curry we know.
- Oh! And look at these rich people.
Cashew curry. - Yes. I got to know what
cashew are quite late. The cashew nuts.
- Introduce..
- Yes. Hello, this is Kapil.
This is a cashew nut. So, what did
you use to have earlier? Peanuts.
- Rotis with Dal. Rotis with Dal?
- Yes.
I took my mom to KBC once. So, I was playing
KBC with Mr. Bachchan. We were chit-chatting.
Mr. Bachchan saw my mom.
And he asked mom about what all she'd
eaten that I became like this. And mom said,
she had just Dal and 'Phulkas'. So sweet..
- 'Dal-Phulka'
is actually, Rotis with Dal. Rotis with Dal..
- You're going to kill me today by talking only about the food.
I'm so hungry. I think you may have
kept a bowl under your table.. I wish.
It's not there.
Why do you think her
table is covered like that? Do we have that?
We do have a table here but it is not covered..
- Yes.. She keeps a bowl
and a stove under the table. There's a small cylinder too.
Like, when she laughs out loud I just told you
about our rice and curry, right? So, she will laugh out loudly and take out the rice
from the vessel.. Oh..
She will have half
the amount in one go! But she's so sweet.
I love you, Ms. Archana. Grandpa!
Grandpa.. Oh!
- Welcome..
Grandpa! Hi Sidharth, Jacqueline!
- Hi. - How are you? Good! - Hi.. Good.. I've never seen a person
greet anyone like this.
Like this! Greet people normally,
like this.. Who greets people
with that expression? Can't you say
anything on the face? Do you want me to?
- Yes. Get lost from here! I won't leave like that! I'll leave with a procession. Say it directly that you
want to marry an orchestra guy.
That tabla artist
has a huge crush on you. Kapil.. He gives his tabla a hard hit
whenever you arrive. Look at that.
Do it again! That's like it!
- I see.
Kapil!
- Yes? I've been unable to find
grandpa since morning. Do it!
- And on top of that.. Hey, stop it now.. Grandpa is nowhere
to be seen since morning.
Have you seen my grandpa,
Jacqueline? No, I haven't. Sorry. Even her
grandma never saw him. She has run away
on the very first day! No..
- Why do you expect her
to see him? He had been out for a
walk and he hasn't returned yet! Go to the kitchen. If you
don't find a big bowl there assume that he's
gone out to have lunch. Look, don't talk nonsense
about my grandpa. He's a thorough gentleman.
He's not a thorough gentleman,
but a dental man. His teeth are
in such a sorry state. The doctor opined that he had
to uproot the decaying teeth. And he told the doctor
that he had nurtured them well and he cannot let
go of them so easily.
She is just pretending here. There is one Pani Puri
vendor there.. - Yes.. She urges him to
serve him the Pani Puris without wearing gloves
as they taste better like that.
You just want to
insult me here, right? I was chit-chatting with them.
You disturbed us. I am quite an impressive girl.
What's your problem? No, you have caught a cold.
You were coughing so loudly last night
that I couldn't sleep. All right then, you
give me the medicine. Wow! It's available only in Agra.
Please get some
for me when you go there. She is closely related to Agra.
- I see.. - That's what.. Sarla, I love you.
For how long.. For how long
will I have to tolerate him? I just want
a gentleman now.. Oh! - What are your intentions,
Sarla Gulati? - Sarla? I intend to become
Sarla Malhotra from Sarla Gulati. I see..
How do you intend
to do that? Is your mother
getting married again? Excuse me! My mom is happy as she is. But I am destined
to be a Malhotra. I see! - No, it
must be your ailment.. You..
Archana ma'am, now that you
are here let me tell you.. - No.. - Let's
see here.. - There he goes..
She wears
nice dresses here and yet, she keeps taunting me
and keeps fighting with me. She was fine over there, right? In Comedy Circus? She used to wear a crown
and don a moustache and used to appear
like 'Ravan'. Here, we provide heels
and beautiful dresses. Did you feel good by donning
a moustache, back there? What? What is wrong with you,
today? I will speak the truth, today.
I have to search for
grandpa. Or else, I would give you
a befitting reply. Sidharth and Jacqueline,
I'll go and fine grandpa. I don't know
his whereabouts.
I'll see you later. Look at her gesture.. Normally it is like,
I'll meet you later. She cannot stop herself
from doing it.
I'll take your leave. In this manner.. First, I'll go and search
for grandpa. Mr.
Kapil Sharma, I'll
see the end of you. This would continue.. Sidharth, I have heard that
you have struggled a lot after coming to Mumbai.
- Yes. Three of you used to stay
at one room.
Yes, when I had come to
Mumbai I used to share my apartment with people. So there was
a one bedroom apartment. Okay. And three of us used to stay
in it.
Okay. So we had divided the bedroom
into three parts. I used to stay in one section
and the other two sections were occupied by two other
boys. For several months,
there were no curtains inside that room.
My friends had a huge painting
in their room I used to keep
it there. - Okay. And when there used to be
a special female friend.. Yes..
They used to hide the painting
as soon as possible. All right. I did not have a curtain
or anything for cover so.. So was this a struggle or
was it fun? He also plays a lot of games.
Sidharth plays basketball,
tennis and rugby. Jacqueline has a penchant
for horse riding. She has joined a club. Yes.
Horse riding.
- She is into horse riding. All these games require
prior investment. Have you ever tried,
bird-fly away? Crow-fly away?
- Yes. Because there is no investment.
And neither there is a bird
or a crow. Just like, cockroach-fly away. Yes. Yes.
Yes.
Do you wish to play? Yes.
- Okay. The one who loses,
will have to dance. Okay. All right.
- Yes! Ready?
Keep it here.
- Accepted. Bird, fly away.
Crow, fly away. Donkey, fly away. What is that? Can one see donkeys flying
in Sri lanka? Donkey! She got confused.
Say it in English.
- Okay. Okay. Sparrow, fly away. Crow, fly away.
Donkey, fly away. Donkey? Donkeys don't fly. Well, he lifted his leg. There is some problem.
- Yes? I don't know the names
of too many animals in English.
Does anybody in the audience
know to play this game? Say it, fast!
Who is it? Stand up.
Are you not ashamed of yourself? Even after growing up,
you play such games. Do you know the names
of animals and birds? Yes, ma'am. I know.
- What is your name? Kuldeep.
- There is no bird by that name. Come here.
Sit with us.
- Come.. - Yes. Crow, fly away. Cock, fly away.
Mosquito, fly away. Kite, fly away. Goat, fly away. No! No! I was saying..
I was saying.. Did you made the cock, fly? Yes, we did.
- When did you do that? I have done that a lot. I was about to say that
if you get it wrong.. And within that time,
he said that.
Kapil!
Kapil, the goat.. Did the goat fly? Okay.
What do you want me to do? Pole dancing. Jacqueline has done pole
dancing to this song called 'Chandralekha'
in the picture. Jacqueline has done it
really well.
- Yes. Someone get a pole. Yay! You made the goat fly, right? Come here. Come here.
Come here and dance. Wow!
He is very good. I was bad.
But you were worse. What kind of dance
is this? You were looking
like a guard.
Someone has come
in the society. Very good.
- Pal, you trapped me. Very good. Make sure you don't fly
goats, from next time.
Thank you, Kuldeep.
- Thank you.. Thank you. Yo, Bro! Wow!
- Come on! Wow!
What's up? How are you? Hey! What?
What do you want? Sit down! Sit down! Baccha, why are you wearing
this suit? I will wear it.
Why will I not wear it? I have got all decked up. From where did you get this tie? My uncle has come
from the village.
The tie has also come along
with him. Oh, my!
- She wished to see Bombay and hence, I have brought her
for sight-seeing in Bombay. Tie, roam around!
Roam around, Tie. That was just a joke.
The thing is I keep cracking
jokes. In reality, there was a match
between India and Australia a few days back. It was a tie. So I brought a tie
from there.
Ms. Jacqueline, I feel like
shaking hands with you. Don't do it at any cost.
Don't do it. He is touching you
using the hands with which he cleans
the poop of his buffalo.
Show me a buffalo
who produces 'Palak Paneer'. You are correct. - What
are you going to do here, today? I have got ready. Because I have to go
give an interview.
Oh..
- Wow! Go. Why have you
come here? I don't have
an interview. What should I give..
- What to give.. I came to know that
you take interviews while you all
give interviews.
If you have an extra
interview then give it to me. Is this an interview
or a sweet, to give and take? Interview is nothing
these days. Nowadays people
gives and takes kisses. What are you saying?
Who takes and gives kiss? Mr.
Sid is here. He stole a kiss
from Aliya in the last movie and gave it back
to Jacqueline in this one. However,
I lack experience, sir. Doesn't people go
for interviews? Yes.
What is needed
to be said? I have no idea.
Will you teach me how to appear
for an interview? Have your brought
your bio-data? I keep my bio-data
in my pocket, sir. Is it?
- Yes. Yes.
Ask me. What is your name? Archana Puran Singh.
It's written
Baccha, in here. When you know to read
why do you ask such nonsense? Oh! It's an interview. What a man? What is your weakness? No, I don't have
any weakness. However, my uncle
has some weakness.
He has trouble
in kneeling down. He has got weak
knee bones. His knees are weak
that's why he has trouble in kneeling down. Well said.
Sir, you are wastage. Baccha, your dairy
business is flourishing. Why do you want
to stop it? The thing is, sir.
I have a farm. However, the job
is very monotonous.
All my buffaloes
are bored of seeing my face
everyday. Yes. Everytime I go in there,
they turn their faces away and says, No.. So, I want to try
something new in life.
I am thinking
of reshaping this nation. How would you change it? Listen, firstly,
I am thinking of bringing change
to the manufacturing industry. Sir, you must have seen
that when you manufacture Jalebi Yes..
- Jalebi.. You keep coiling it up
like round..
It is very monotonous. Everyone makes
the same thing. No one uses
their creativity. I will change the shape.
I will make the Jalebis
straight. Wow! Then people will say,
'Look, what a simple Jalebi.' 'Wed it to Laddoo.' Something of this sort
would happen. I will connect an egg
to a 4G network in order to increase it's speed
in making an omelette. I will tell you why
is it so.
A hen lays egg on time
but then why is an 'om-late'? 'Om-late!'
- 'Om-late.' It has to go faster. I have got another plan.
- Okay. Well! Our cars run
on petrol. - Yes.
I am already half way
through a plan in order to run cars
without petrol. What is it?
- What's the plan? I will construct bridges
in the city. All the bridges will be
designed like this.. The cars will
go like this..
There won't be
a need of petrol. If the cars goes this way
and how will they go up? You do know that
my plan is still half? Half plan! Why should I take up
all the responsibilities? Construct the rest
of the plan yourself. Think higher. If that's not possible,
then nothing is possible.
Things such as these
will continue. I am thinking
of climbing the Mount Everest. What will you do
climbing it? I will climb down
from the other side. I don't have to
fry 'Papads' over there.
What to do?
Time pass. However, there was
an instance in your film which I watched. You said that
you like boys who take risks. There is no such man
in this world other than me who take take risks.
- Why? Yesterday, I ate
a banana.
What's the risk in that? Try snatching a banana
from the hands of a monkey. It will jump
and slap you so hard that it's future
will be stamped on your cheeks. Then you will know. However, Ms.
Jacqueline,
if you agree, I should say both of us should
circumambulate the fire for seven times. Baccha, that's too much. Well! Let's lessen it.
Circumambulate for four time. Siddharth, the actions
which you've done in the film..
Yes.. You can do it here too. What's the need
for some action? Instead some
dance steps.. Yes..
Would you like
to teach me some? Do you want to learn
'Chandralekha', the new song? Okay..
- Oh.. Oh..
Like this.. Oh, I enjoyed it.
Thank you. Yes, Bro..
Cheers..
- Thank you very much. You danced
really well.. - Baccha.. Baccha, how can you leave
like this? You have to crack a joke.
Jokes.. I roam around
with a jar full of jokes. I always keep it ready. So, my joke is ready.
Why does a dog wriggle
it's tail? It is because.. Wouldn't it be weird
if a tail wriggle it's dog? I didn't understand. Crack it
to her in English. - Yes.
A dog.
- Yes. - Wags tail. - Yes. Why does a dog wriggle
it's tail? Why does it wriggle? Wouldn't it be weird
if a tail wriggle it's dog? It will be weird.
Yes, it will be funny. I got you.
- It will be funny. Well! Applause.
Thank you very much. Thank you.
- It was a pleasure meeting you all.
Thank you. It was nice to meet you.
We will meet again. Cheers. Cheers..
- Yes..
Yes..
- See you later.. She is hot. Thank you. Grandpa.
- Yes.
You have started this
as well? Yes, you can come
and watch me sometime. He hurls questions
even before a man enters. He doesn't let me talk. Oh, Lord!
Stop me for sometime.
How are you?
- Sir, I am good.. Hi..
- How are you? - Mr. Kapil. Come, sit here..
- No, it's okay..
How are you? Are you feeling cold?
You've wrapped a muffler? No, I'm fine..
Hello, Jackie! - Hello! Hello,
Fernandes! - Hello! How are you? I heard that
song of yours - Which one? 'Get me a pair
of golden earrings'. I got it for you. Oh.. Thank you..
- Sit properly.
You can dance..
- Sit here. Okay, sit.. Whenever you need any help..
Regarding your songs.. Whenever you need help don't
hesitate to call me.
I can get anything for you. Grandpa, Ms. Sarla
is searching for you. Where are you coming from? Are you not feeling cold? I will tie it tightly,
you might be feeling cold.
Where are you coming from? Remove it. Or else..
- Is it? I will..
Actually.. I hope your neck doesn't
fall down. You stay here.
I am fine.
I am fine. Jacqueline, this is.. I told you about this grandpa. He will disturb you for not more
than two to three minutes.
He will exit after this. Is it?
What do you mean? Who are you to tell
Jacqueline about me? It sounds like someone else
is telling Archana which razor is good. Grandpa, you know about
Ms. Archana right? I know she is always moody
and when she comes in a car she throws attitude at us.
But..
But.. W-We're college friends. Hi, Archana!
- Hello! We both are friends anyway. I recollected looking
at the photo.
- You don't seem.. Jacqueline, I am meeting you
after a very long time. The first time I saw you,
Sri Lanka was this small. It's not Sri Lanka which
would be small.
But it is Jacqueline who
would be small. She was this small. You just shut up. I have seen in a map.
It is this small.
It is this small. It is small.
- Small? It is very tiny. Grandpa, talk to her
with some respect. Jacqueline knows Judo.
I know Ludo. What is the big deal in it? There is a difference between
Judo and Ludo. Do you know that? What difference does it make? Though you are a professional
at playing Ludo. You have to come back when snake
bites you at 99th position.
Did you get it? Nonsense! I am sorry. I'm sorry, if you don't mind
I'm feeling pressurised. Oh, God! I will make a move.
- Yes, mister. Good luck for your movie.
- Yes..
I will be right back.
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Okay, bye. Bye.
- Bye! Bye.
- Bye! There are so many
of our friends here. They have few questions
to ask you.
Who is going to ask
the first question? Hi, Kapil sir.
- Hello! Hi, Jacqueline ma'am.
- Hello! Hi, Siddharth sir.
- Hello! I have a question
for Jacqueline ma'am. You ask first, then we shall
talk about it. I will call the police
if you say anything to her. I have seen your promos
on TV recently.
I've noticed that you have
and eye for risky boys. I wanted to say that
I am risky too. Wow!
Okay! What do you want to say? You might not know, I travel
in trains without a ticket. Oh!
That's very risky.
What an achievement! Leave that aside. I ride bikes,
with my both hands in the air. That makes you a crazy man. How is it risky? If you say,
I can climb mountains too.
Mountains! Why does she want
you to climb? Because she like risky boys. Yes, so what do you want? Don't answer. Oh! What can you do for Jacqueline
standing there in this moment? I don't know about
the later part.. I can dance with her.
I can do that too. This is not something to enjoy. Can you jump from there?
- From where? I can do it.
I can do it. You can do it?
- Hey, no..
Are you sure? It is not called jumping,
it's called falling down. It's not even considered
as falling down. It is considered
as killing yourself. Please come.
What is your name?
- Sujith! Sujith! Sujith, the winning moment
is when you fall down. Sujith! Sujith! Sujith, seriously?
- Don't do it. Forget about falling down,
ma'am is right here. Do something else
to impress her.
Frog jumping!
- Frog jumping! Frog jumping with Kapil. You have to sit like this
and imagine that you are sitting on a chair. Fine? Not like that.. Don't bend too much.
You have to sit like this. Like a squat. Yes! Stay there. Sit down.
Sit down.
There is no need of music. You keep sitting. Is there anyone else here? No, why did you stand? You keep sitting there. Go a bit more low.
Oh, God!
- This is fine. You sit here while
I talk to audience. First..
Do it.. From there..
Do this..
You have to sit and do it.
- He did it.. - Bend lower. Impressed!
Impressed! I am impressed.
I am impressed a lot. Fine, do this.
This is very easy.
Even kids can do it. Do this and show it. I'm asking you to do
simpler things than jumping. You have to do it quickly.
Like this.
Fine? You are so sweet.
Thank you, Srijith. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
You are very risky.
Thank you, Srijith. Is there anyone else? Yes, please. Siddharth sir, I'm a very huge
fan of yours. Sir, black spectacles
suit you more.
But my friends say that
it suits me as well. So, can I dance with you sir?
Please. Even my friends say that
black suits me. You do it too.
Did you bring the black shades?
- Yes. Oh!
- You have brought two. Oh! The black shades
suits you a lot. This mic suits me a lot.
Give it to me.
Thank you. 'Black glasses looks
nice on you.' 'Looks nice on your white face.' 'Black glasses looks
nice on you.' 'Looks nice on your white face.' 'When you walk on roads.' 'Baby you put boys
hearts on fire.' 'And when you see us.' 'You show fake tantrums,
you liar.' - Liar! 'Black glasses looks nice
on your white face.' 'As the black moles look
nice on your chin.' 'With your style you must kill.' 'At least ten to twelve boys
in a day.' 'There are many like you.' 'There can't be anyone like me.' 'There are many like you.' 'You are rural.' 'I am beautiful than Katrina.' 'I'm fed up of listening
to your whines.' 'I'm fed up of listening
to your whines.' 'Black glasses suit me.' Oh, my!
- Black glasses.. Thank you, Meenal.
Please come. Thank you, Meenal.
See you.
Thank you.
Bye! Superb!
You've danced very well. Is there anyone else? Yes! Yes, Mounika. Why are you laughing? Is Mounika not your name?
- No, Sir. I am Jayshree.
- Hail Lord.
Hi, Siddharth sir.
- Hello! Hi, Jacqueline ma'am.
- Hello! I am a big fan of yours. And I am coming from Gujarat. I was just listening to the most
popular song of yours. 'Chitiyan Kaliyan' I have written a smaller version
of the song in Gujarati.
Just for you.
- Wow! How?
How? Please sing it.
- Love you, Jayshree. Most welcome, ma'am. This is for you. Thank you, Jayshree.
- Thank you.
Thank you so much. Beautiful voice!
And you are so cute. The rhyming was messed up
in the end, right. Your white wrists..
It belongs to you..
Let's go for a movie.
It's a request. I will request. Thank you, Mounika. Thank you, Jayshree.
Thank you so much, sir. Thank you so much for coming.
- Thank you. God bless! He has used a gun lot of times
in his movies. To check his target test,
we have called a volunteer.
You have to throw the rings. The rings are actually
quite bigger. Jacqueline, you both
have to try. One by one.
This area is yours.
This area belongs to Siddharth. What will I get if I throw
it here? He is your man. Okay!
- Keep some distance. Distance! From here, Jacqueline.
Come, Jacqueline. This..
This is your mark. Okay, ready?
Ready? Let's go..
Whoever gets.. Green is yours
and red is his.
Ready! Oh, no! Hold it tight.
Hold it tight. Wow! Yes!
Wow! Both of their scores
are balanced. One more.
One more. Take your time.
I couldn't figure out
who threw the most rings. Is it a tie?
- It's a tie. I won.
- It's a tie. Now you can go to washroom.
So, the match is tied
between these both. The gentleman movie will be
shown on this screen. Thank you. Thank you so much.
Siddharth and Jacqueline,
the audience who came here we shall gift everyone
a beautiful mobile phone. Wow! You have to decide
who entertained you the most or whom you thought is fun. Our audience can also decide. Who is it? The whole dance.
- Whole dance.
Whole dance. The first one who came.. That means I will keep the gift. Are you sure?
- Yes.
They should show us
one more dance. Sujith was also good. Sujith! Which song? Which song will you dance on? Nobody is there.. You have three options.
Jacqueline. - Yes.
- This is for your fan. He has danced a lot.
His shirt came off. His pant went below the waist.
- That's when you express yourself while
dancing.
He.. Congratulations. A big hand for Sidharth
and Jacqueline. Thank you.
Thank you so much.. Best wishes to both of you. All the very best for all your future projects. Thank you..
Can we just say bye..
- Keep smiling.. Keep watching
The Kapil Sharma Show. Thank you so much
to all of you. Thank you so much for coming.
Thank you...
to 'The Kapil Sharma Show.' The day isn't a lucky one today. Jacqueline was here,
Jacqueline Fernandez. She needed some money. I only had Rs.
10, 000
And she asked for Rs. 8000. Actually,
my mood is a little off today. Because Mr.
Sidhu
is unwell today. Get well soon, Mr. Sidhu,
we miss you. But to cheer up my mood we have invited an old
friend of ours here.
You all know her very well. In the world of laughter, she
is known as The Laughter Queen. A man can go crazy after
listening to her laugh! With a resounding
round of applause please welcome
Archana Puran Singh. Whoa! - A huge round of applause for Archana Puran Singh.
"You called me" "and I came over running." So sweet! We have been
friends for so long. We have done a lot of
shows on this very channel. And today, you are here. Looking at you,
I feel my uncle is here! No matter if what we said
was good or not..
- Yes. ... We used to shoot
all night long. And I am delighted to see you
here again.
- Thank you. Please welcome. The throne is yours today.
- Thank you. Okay, let me tell you all Ms.
Archana and Sony TV have
an old bond. - Yes. The telecast of movie
'Sooryavansham' on Setmax and Archana's presence of SonyTV. Cannot be stopped by anyone.
She can appear on
any SonyTV show. Wherever SonyTv shows are shot she goes to check if
there's an empty spot. The other day, she entered
the sets of 'Indian Idol.' They said, "Ma'am, you can't
sit here. Do you how to sing?" She replied, "Does
Anu Malik know?" They said, "But he knows
how to play an instrument." She said, "Ask my husband
Parmeet how well I play!" You have started again, I see! By the way, do you remember
all we used to say on the show? Ms.
Archana stays
in Madh Island. You have to catch a ferry
to come across. - Yes. Sometimes,
the shooting is too early.
But she reaches early
even if there is traffic as she takes the ferry. So, once she was on the ferry
and the ferry ticket was Rs. 20. She replied that she
forgot her purse at home.
But she was told she has
to purchase the ticket. So, she just jumped into
the water and got two fish out. And said, "Here are two fish
for Rs. 150, Return my change." Your stories from Madh Island
are unforgettable.
- Yes. Do you remember? Once,
this man was on a motor boat. And she was in a row boat with
wooden paddles. - Really? She was rowing the boat with
one paddle by herself.
- Okay. The guy on the motor boat said, "Such a popular actress
and is traveling by this boat?" He said that and left
but she got enraged. She dropped the paddle,
inserted her hands in the water and captured two alligators,
used them as propellers and overtook the motor boat. I have learnt a valuable
lesson from you, ma'am, No matter how dire the condition laugh whole-heartedly
and always stay happy.
You-You might know
this or might not she is so jovial that when
she was born, with due respect she was laughing
to such an extent.. The people who came to bless her
by singing and dancing said they will
charge Rs. 11, 000. Her parents said, "You charge
Rs.
1 Lakh, just take her away! I'am so happy to see you, ma'am.
- Thank you. I love you so much.
- I love you too. Ms. Archana,
since you are here today we have invited a handsome
guest for you.
Today's guest on the show is a gentleman, who is
good-looking, amiable and risky. Please welcome the very handsome
Sidharth Malhotra and the very beautiful
and the very talented and my second true love
and almost my wife Jacqueline Fernandez. Okay! Thank you so much,
thanks a lot! Thank you so much for so much
love. - You were amazing.
You were amazing, Kapil!
- Hey! - Yes! You danced wonderfully,
my goodness! - Yes. - You did? I made the dance look lively! Let's have a huge round
of applause for Jacqueline and Sidharth Malhotra. What's up? Welcome to both of you,
Sidharth and Jacqueline. Thank you.
- Hug me, both of you.
You go first, Jacqueline. Welcome..
- Yes! Thank you. So, this beautiful
couple's movie is releasing it's called 'A Gentleman.'
- Yes. Good-looking, amiable and risky.
- Absolutely.
And this man has hit the jackpot
by the grace of God. He is romancing
Jacqueline in the movie and that too, in a double role. And I get to meet
her every 3-4 months only for a few seconds when
her movie up for release and we have to suffice with
this for the entire year. So, actually,
I am the gentleman.
But she also makes the lead
actor work too hard at the action sequences
and dance numbers. Being good-looking and amiable
isn't enough for her. - Okay. She wants a little extra.
- Extra! Actually, Sidharth, I wanted
to know.
- Yes. How can a good-looking
and amiable guy.. - Yes. ...
Be risky? - Why not?
After a few shots of whisky! So, when we watch the preview
of 'A Gentleman' - Right. What does it disclose?
I will tell you. This beautiful girl here doesn't want a good-looking, amiable man Correct.
- Who works in a 9-5 job. Do you know?
I also don't work a 9-5 job.
I work from 9-10,
that too, I missed some. Why did you have it confess
your love to me in riddles? Actually, Kapil, we are
a married couple. - Hey! When did this happen?
- We got married. When? - Next year.
I mean, last year! If you would have
gotten married last year something would have
happened by next year! All that is forgotten! You have forgotten me after
marriage.
- I forgot it all. Okay, Jacqueline's birthday
is on the 11th of August. Happy birthday.
- Thank you. Belated happy birthday.
- Thank you.
Okay, that's enough!
It's done. - No, actually.. It's belated, so the embrace has
to be longer. - Right! So, 11th of August in numerology
is the number 2.
And my birthday is
on the 2nd of April. That's also 2. "Two and Two is Four.." Do you know what that means?
- No. Do you know the multiplication
tables? Two..
- Four.
- Two times, yes, four. - Six. 2, 4, 6, 8, 10.
- Yes. How you sing?
Because our math is too weak so, we memorise the tune.
- Oh! "Two times two is four.."
- Oh! "Two times four is eight."
Like that.
Is this not how
you memorise them? No.
- You belong to educated homes. You have breakfast with
butter to sharpen your brain. Our brain doesn't work as
we have leafy vegetables. Sidharth, that's how it's done
in North India.
- Indeed. How did you memorise
math tables in Delhi? In the same way. B-But we
used to say in English too. Show me how,
I am very curious to know.
"Two times two.."
- You go, why should I? "Two times two is four."
- Yes. Four times four is?
- "Four times two is four!" Four?
- What four! I mean.. If kids hear me
recite the table my dignity will be ruined.
- Yes. I have an itchy hand.
But last year,
I went to my school and my math teacher was there,
waiting for me. I felt very happy. Come.
- Come. Okay, Sidharth here considers Karan Johar as his mentor.
Karan is the one
who launched him. So, before signing a movie,
he takes Karan's advice. But when Karan did
'Bombay Velvet' did he discuss it with you? I think he didn't
consult anyone! Even after doing the movie,
he isn't discussing it. I asked him about it.
He said he started
detesting it so much that he removed the velvet
from his couch as well. - Off! I was like really? I don't know if this is a rumour
or the truth, Jacqueline. Yes?
- Are you married? I received this email.. 'Dear Jacqueline Sharma.' Jacqueline Sharma!
- Jacqueline Sharma? 'I wanted to address
you as Fernandez' 'but I don't know the spelling.' 'Dear, since you
have married my son' 'all the people are wondering
when you will arrive here.' 'Dear, you sometimes
go to Sri Lanka' 'sometimes to America,
sometimes for your shooting.' 'When will you
come to Amritsar?' 'In case you have forgotten' 'I am sending a photograph
as proof.' Where is the photograph
she sent? Please, show it.
Hey.. That's you!
- Married and all! Oh, that's my mother! "Mother.. Dear mother." People keep harassing mom
about her daughter-in-law. She is unable to bear
this torture.
She is in hiding. She is unable to go to Amritsar or come to Mumbai.
- I'm extremely busy, sorry. She found some relatives
in Panipat and is hiding there. But mom..
Jacqueline remembers that we are married.
- Yes, a married couple. It might be fake but it's
fun to think about it. Okay, this is all fun and games. But in real life, if Jacqueline
happens to marry me..
- Yes. We won't get our marriage
certificate done in my city. But why?
- Because they can't spell her name.. Fernandez? That's your surname.
They won't be able to write
'Jacqueline'! Jacqueline, has
anybody given you a nickname apart from 'Jacky'? She had a nickname when
she was a kid. She used to feel happy
to hear that. And, what is that? Hyena. Hyena? They used to tease her
with this name because she used
to laugh like one.
She would laugh even more
after hearing her nickname. Let's try that now.
Hyena.. - Hyena. Like this..
- That's cute!
- It's one of its kind. This can
get a lot more loud! If I don't think of
good jokes.. I will just.. Hyena.
Sidharth, you have done the
entire movie with her. - Yes.. Being an Indian, did you ask her
which part of Sri Lanka produces such beautiful women? What special
coconut does she eat? And does she face
problems like we do? Have you ever heard
of furuncles? Oh, God! Kapil!
- Really.. I'm just..
What is that? Furuncle.. I mean.. You get infection..
- Okay. And it leaves a painful
swelling there..
Haven't you really
heard of it? Never. You get infection...
And what happens then? He's talking about boils..
- It's a kind of infection. Are you sure you have
never heard of it? No? That's so beautiful! Have you heard
of unhealthy belches? But how are
they connected to Sri Lanka? No, I know that there is
no connection between them. Listen..
Just because
you are a beautiful superstar.. Have you faced these
kind of problems? Oh! I got you. Belches.. - I don't know
about the other one you said..
No, this is something
very intense.. I mean.. Sour.. How do I tell her
what belch is..
Burp..
- Burp? I can burp.
- Show him. So beautiful! It is something
like picturising romance.. Can you do that? What? Do you think that's
how Indians burp? Right.. - We have many
kinds of people here.
Every state has its unique
style of burping. The style of South Indians
is different from the style of those in Punjab.. And again, Rajasthan
has its own style.. When they burp,
they spit out sand..
Trust me.. But she is sensitive. Even if she feels
like sneezing.. She won't let anyone know
it even in a conference.
Have you ever seen
Ms. Archana sneezing? She can't just sneeze like
any normal person. Let me show you.
- Oh! Ms. Archana I want to tell you something
about Sidharth.
- Go ahead. He is a very clever guy. The songs of his last
two movies were super hit. "That beautiful girl
took away my heart.." Okay? And what was
the other one? It's 'Kaala Chashma..'
- 'Kaala Chashma..' So, Badshah's rap in both
of those songs was very good.
They danced on it very well. He learned all of those
now. He's now doing everything
on his own. Yes! Wow!
- 'Bandook Meri Laila'.
He is playing a double role
and doing rap too. I fear that in his next film he will even play the role
of Jacqueline. Actually, we didn't get
any rapper.. So..
Ms. Archana,
Jacky's English is very fluent. And she is working in India
for so many years now. The chemistry between
you two is very good, isn't it? Yes, it is.
Then you have to ask these
questions to her. - Okay. You shouldn't show this
to her. These words are in English.
She has to translate
them in Hindi. Now that you are
an Indian girl.. You are married
to a Punjabi boy. Jacqueline Sharma.
It's very easy.
Here's goes the first one.. Red chilli. That's called 'Laal Mirchi'. Wow! It sounds like my
Hindi test.
I feel like I'm
in my tuition classes. Turmeric. Haldi. That's nice! Very nice! Cinnamon.
Hold on.. Is it 'Cheeni'? You are close.. 'Dal cheeni'? - Yes!
- Very nice! - Yes. Go, girl! I've tasted 'Kaju Curry'
prepared by Jacky.
It was really tasty.
- But when? Do you remember
that Farah's show? Yes. 'Kaju Curry'..
- Yes, it was so tasty.. It's a Sri Lankan dish.
- These rich people make these. We make ordinary Pakora curry.
- I made it myself.
We make onion Pakoras. You know Pakora curry?
- She's ready. Which one?
- Pakora curry. Pakora, No.
- No.. Curry..
- You know Pakora? Bread with Pakoras in it.
- Yes. Pakora Onion..
- Frying. Yes.
Take a big knife.
Cut it very fast.. - Okay. And then, slice it
again from the other side. Take some gram flour..
- Yes.
- Chilli powder.. - Yes. Salt.. - Yes.
- Take a frying pan.
Take lots of oil.
- Lots of oil.. Put them..
They'll start splattering.. And.. They will start splattering.
- Splattering..
Okay. Then..
Then.. He's boiling. - Okay.
- He's boiling? - Boiling..
He's cursing. He's abusing.
- Angry. - Why? And finally, he's dead! Because he became red. Then, take out one first.
Then, all of them, one by one.
And then, take some gram
flour again. Mix it with water. You'll have to mix it
with your hand. And then, wipe your hand.
The Pakoras in them..
As if you make them every day!
- Put them in the frying pan again.
- Okay. Again, it's boiling. Then, serve them. Five siblings
fight to get two Pakoras each.
This is our story.
- That was some story! That's the only curry we know.
- Oh! And look at these rich people.
Cashew curry. - Yes. I got to know what
cashew are quite late. The cashew nuts.
- Introduce..
- Yes. Hello, this is Kapil.
This is a cashew nut. So, what did
you use to have earlier? Peanuts.
- Rotis with Dal. Rotis with Dal?
- Yes.
I took my mom to KBC once. So, I was playing
KBC with Mr. Bachchan. We were chit-chatting.
Mr. Bachchan saw my mom.
And he asked mom about what all she'd
eaten that I became like this. And mom said,
she had just Dal and 'Phulkas'. So sweet..
- 'Dal-Phulka'
is actually, Rotis with Dal. Rotis with Dal..
- You're going to kill me today by talking only about the food.
I'm so hungry. I think you may have
kept a bowl under your table.. I wish.
It's not there.
Why do you think her
table is covered like that? Do we have that?
We do have a table here but it is not covered..
- Yes.. She keeps a bowl
and a stove under the table. There's a small cylinder too.
Like, when she laughs out loud I just told you
about our rice and curry, right? So, she will laugh out loudly and take out the rice
from the vessel.. Oh..
She will have half
the amount in one go! But she's so sweet.
I love you, Ms. Archana. Grandpa!
Grandpa.. Oh!
- Welcome..
Grandpa! Hi Sidharth, Jacqueline!
- Hi. - How are you? Good! - Hi.. Good.. I've never seen a person
greet anyone like this.
Like this! Greet people normally,
like this.. Who greets people
with that expression? Can't you say
anything on the face? Do you want me to?
- Yes. Get lost from here! I won't leave like that! I'll leave with a procession. Say it directly that you
want to marry an orchestra guy.
That tabla artist
has a huge crush on you. Kapil.. He gives his tabla a hard hit
whenever you arrive. Look at that.
Do it again! That's like it!
- I see.
Kapil!
- Yes? I've been unable to find
grandpa since morning. Do it!
- And on top of that.. Hey, stop it now.. Grandpa is nowhere
to be seen since morning.
Have you seen my grandpa,
Jacqueline? No, I haven't. Sorry. Even her
grandma never saw him. She has run away
on the very first day! No..
- Why do you expect her
to see him? He had been out for a
walk and he hasn't returned yet! Go to the kitchen. If you
don't find a big bowl there assume that he's
gone out to have lunch. Look, don't talk nonsense
about my grandpa. He's a thorough gentleman.
He's not a thorough gentleman,
but a dental man. His teeth are
in such a sorry state. The doctor opined that he had
to uproot the decaying teeth. And he told the doctor
that he had nurtured them well and he cannot let
go of them so easily.
She is just pretending here. There is one Pani Puri
vendor there.. - Yes.. She urges him to
serve him the Pani Puris without wearing gloves
as they taste better like that.
You just want to
insult me here, right? I was chit-chatting with them.
You disturbed us. I am quite an impressive girl.
What's your problem? No, you have caught a cold.
You were coughing so loudly last night
that I couldn't sleep. All right then, you
give me the medicine. Wow! It's available only in Agra.
Please get some
for me when you go there. She is closely related to Agra.
- I see.. - That's what.. Sarla, I love you.
For how long.. For how long
will I have to tolerate him? I just want
a gentleman now.. Oh! - What are your intentions,
Sarla Gulati? - Sarla? I intend to become
Sarla Malhotra from Sarla Gulati. I see..
How do you intend
to do that? Is your mother
getting married again? Excuse me! My mom is happy as she is. But I am destined
to be a Malhotra. I see! - No, it
must be your ailment.. You..
Archana ma'am, now that you
are here let me tell you.. - No.. - Let's
see here.. - There he goes..
She wears
nice dresses here and yet, she keeps taunting me
and keeps fighting with me. She was fine over there, right? In Comedy Circus? She used to wear a crown
and don a moustache and used to appear
like 'Ravan'. Here, we provide heels
and beautiful dresses. Did you feel good by donning
a moustache, back there? What? What is wrong with you,
today? I will speak the truth, today.
I have to search for
grandpa. Or else, I would give you
a befitting reply. Sidharth and Jacqueline,
I'll go and fine grandpa. I don't know
his whereabouts.
I'll see you later. Look at her gesture.. Normally it is like,
I'll meet you later. She cannot stop herself
from doing it.
I'll take your leave. In this manner.. First, I'll go and search
for grandpa. Mr.
Kapil Sharma, I'll
see the end of you. This would continue.. Sidharth, I have heard that
you have struggled a lot after coming to Mumbai.
- Yes. Three of you used to stay
at one room.
Yes, when I had come to
Mumbai I used to share my apartment with people. So there was
a one bedroom apartment. Okay. And three of us used to stay
in it.
Okay. So we had divided the bedroom
into three parts. I used to stay in one section
and the other two sections were occupied by two other
boys. For several months,
there were no curtains inside that room.
My friends had a huge painting
in their room I used to keep
it there. - Okay. And when there used to be
a special female friend.. Yes..
They used to hide the painting
as soon as possible. All right. I did not have a curtain
or anything for cover so.. So was this a struggle or
was it fun? He also plays a lot of games.
Sidharth plays basketball,
tennis and rugby. Jacqueline has a penchant
for horse riding. She has joined a club. Yes.
Horse riding.
- She is into horse riding. All these games require
prior investment. Have you ever tried,
bird-fly away? Crow-fly away?
- Yes. Because there is no investment.
And neither there is a bird
or a crow. Just like, cockroach-fly away. Yes. Yes.
Yes.
Do you wish to play? Yes.
- Okay. The one who loses,
will have to dance. Okay. All right.
- Yes! Ready?
Keep it here.
- Accepted. Bird, fly away.
Crow, fly away. Donkey, fly away. What is that? Can one see donkeys flying
in Sri lanka? Donkey! She got confused.
Say it in English.
- Okay. Okay. Sparrow, fly away. Crow, fly away.
Donkey, fly away. Donkey? Donkeys don't fly. Well, he lifted his leg. There is some problem.
- Yes? I don't know the names
of too many animals in English.
Does anybody in the audience
know to play this game? Say it, fast!
Who is it? Stand up.
Are you not ashamed of yourself? Even after growing up,
you play such games. Do you know the names
of animals and birds? Yes, ma'am. I know.
- What is your name? Kuldeep.
- There is no bird by that name. Come here.
Sit with us.
- Come.. - Yes. Crow, fly away. Cock, fly away.
Mosquito, fly away. Kite, fly away. Goat, fly away. No! No! I was saying..
I was saying.. Did you made the cock, fly? Yes, we did.
- When did you do that? I have done that a lot. I was about to say that
if you get it wrong.. And within that time,
he said that.
Kapil!
Kapil, the goat.. Did the goat fly? Okay.
What do you want me to do? Pole dancing. Jacqueline has done pole
dancing to this song called 'Chandralekha'
in the picture. Jacqueline has done it
really well.
- Yes. Someone get a pole. Yay! You made the goat fly, right? Come here. Come here.
Come here and dance. Wow!
He is very good. I was bad.
But you were worse. What kind of dance
is this? You were looking
like a guard.
Someone has come
in the society. Very good.
- Pal, you trapped me. Very good. Make sure you don't fly
goats, from next time.
Thank you, Kuldeep.
- Thank you.. Thank you. Yo, Bro! Wow!
- Come on! Wow!
What's up? How are you? Hey! What?
What do you want? Sit down! Sit down! Baccha, why are you wearing
this suit? I will wear it.
Why will I not wear it? I have got all decked up. From where did you get this tie? My uncle has come
from the village.
The tie has also come along
with him. Oh, my!
- She wished to see Bombay and hence, I have brought her
for sight-seeing in Bombay. Tie, roam around!
Roam around, Tie. That was just a joke.
The thing is I keep cracking
jokes. In reality, there was a match
between India and Australia a few days back. It was a tie. So I brought a tie
from there.
Ms. Jacqueline, I feel like
shaking hands with you. Don't do it at any cost.
Don't do it. He is touching you
using the hands with which he cleans
the poop of his buffalo.
Show me a buffalo
who produces 'Palak Paneer'. You are correct. - What
are you going to do here, today? I have got ready. Because I have to go
give an interview.
Oh..
- Wow! Go. Why have you
come here? I don't have
an interview. What should I give..
- What to give.. I came to know that
you take interviews while you all
give interviews.
If you have an extra
interview then give it to me. Is this an interview
or a sweet, to give and take? Interview is nothing
these days. Nowadays people
gives and takes kisses. What are you saying?
Who takes and gives kiss? Mr.
Sid is here. He stole a kiss
from Aliya in the last movie and gave it back
to Jacqueline in this one. However,
I lack experience, sir. Doesn't people go
for interviews? Yes.
What is needed
to be said? I have no idea.
Will you teach me how to appear
for an interview? Have your brought
your bio-data? I keep my bio-data
in my pocket, sir. Is it?
- Yes. Yes.
Ask me. What is your name? Archana Puran Singh.
It's written
Baccha, in here. When you know to read
why do you ask such nonsense? Oh! It's an interview. What a man? What is your weakness? No, I don't have
any weakness. However, my uncle
has some weakness.
He has trouble
in kneeling down. He has got weak
knee bones. His knees are weak
that's why he has trouble in kneeling down. Well said.
Sir, you are wastage. Baccha, your dairy
business is flourishing. Why do you want
to stop it? The thing is, sir.
I have a farm. However, the job
is very monotonous.
All my buffaloes
are bored of seeing my face
everyday. Yes. Everytime I go in there,
they turn their faces away and says, No.. So, I want to try
something new in life.
I am thinking
of reshaping this nation. How would you change it? Listen, firstly,
I am thinking of bringing change
to the manufacturing industry. Sir, you must have seen
that when you manufacture Jalebi Yes..
- Jalebi.. You keep coiling it up
like round..
It is very monotonous. Everyone makes
the same thing. No one uses
their creativity. I will change the shape.
I will make the Jalebis
straight. Wow! Then people will say,
'Look, what a simple Jalebi.' 'Wed it to Laddoo.' Something of this sort
would happen. I will connect an egg
to a 4G network in order to increase it's speed
in making an omelette. I will tell you why
is it so.
A hen lays egg on time
but then why is an 'om-late'? 'Om-late!'
- 'Om-late.' It has to go faster. I have got another plan.
- Okay. Well! Our cars run
on petrol. - Yes.
I am already half way
through a plan in order to run cars
without petrol. What is it?
- What's the plan? I will construct bridges
in the city. All the bridges will be
designed like this.. The cars will
go like this..
There won't be
a need of petrol. If the cars goes this way
and how will they go up? You do know that
my plan is still half? Half plan! Why should I take up
all the responsibilities? Construct the rest
of the plan yourself. Think higher. If that's not possible,
then nothing is possible.
Things such as these
will continue. I am thinking
of climbing the Mount Everest. What will you do
climbing it? I will climb down
from the other side. I don't have to
fry 'Papads' over there.
What to do?
Time pass. However, there was
an instance in your film which I watched. You said that
you like boys who take risks. There is no such man
in this world other than me who take take risks.
- Why? Yesterday, I ate
a banana.
What's the risk in that? Try snatching a banana
from the hands of a monkey. It will jump
and slap you so hard that it's future
will be stamped on your cheeks. Then you will know. However, Ms.
Jacqueline,
if you agree, I should say both of us should
circumambulate the fire for seven times. Baccha, that's too much. Well! Let's lessen it.
Circumambulate for four time. Siddharth, the actions
which you've done in the film..
Yes.. You can do it here too. What's the need
for some action? Instead some
dance steps.. Yes..
Would you like
to teach me some? Do you want to learn
'Chandralekha', the new song? Okay..
- Oh.. Oh..
Like this.. Oh, I enjoyed it.
Thank you. Yes, Bro..
Cheers..
- Thank you very much. You danced
really well.. - Baccha.. Baccha, how can you leave
like this? You have to crack a joke.
Jokes.. I roam around
with a jar full of jokes. I always keep it ready. So, my joke is ready.
Why does a dog wriggle
it's tail? It is because.. Wouldn't it be weird
if a tail wriggle it's dog? I didn't understand. Crack it
to her in English. - Yes.
A dog.
- Yes. - Wags tail. - Yes. Why does a dog wriggle
it's tail? Why does it wriggle? Wouldn't it be weird
if a tail wriggle it's dog? It will be weird.
Yes, it will be funny. I got you.
- It will be funny. Well! Applause.
Thank you very much. Thank you.
- It was a pleasure meeting you all.
Thank you. It was nice to meet you.
We will meet again. Cheers. Cheers..
- Yes..
Yes..
- See you later.. She is hot. Thank you. Grandpa.
- Yes.
You have started this
as well? Yes, you can come
and watch me sometime. He hurls questions
even before a man enters. He doesn't let me talk. Oh, Lord!
Stop me for sometime.
How are you?
- Sir, I am good.. Hi..
- How are you? - Mr. Kapil. Come, sit here..
- No, it's okay..
How are you? Are you feeling cold?
You've wrapped a muffler? No, I'm fine..
Hello, Jackie! - Hello! Hello,
Fernandes! - Hello! How are you? I heard that
song of yours - Which one? 'Get me a pair
of golden earrings'. I got it for you. Oh.. Thank you..
- Sit properly.
You can dance..
- Sit here. Okay, sit.. Whenever you need any help..
Regarding your songs.. Whenever you need help don't
hesitate to call me.
I can get anything for you. Grandpa, Ms. Sarla
is searching for you. Where are you coming from? Are you not feeling cold? I will tie it tightly,
you might be feeling cold.
Where are you coming from? Remove it. Or else..
- Is it? I will..
Actually.. I hope your neck doesn't
fall down. You stay here.
I am fine.
I am fine. Jacqueline, this is.. I told you about this grandpa. He will disturb you for not more
than two to three minutes.
He will exit after this. Is it?
What do you mean? Who are you to tell
Jacqueline about me? It sounds like someone else
is telling Archana which razor is good. Grandpa, you know about
Ms. Archana right? I know she is always moody
and when she comes in a car she throws attitude at us.
But..
But.. W-We're college friends. Hi, Archana!
- Hello! We both are friends anyway. I recollected looking
at the photo.
- You don't seem.. Jacqueline, I am meeting you
after a very long time. The first time I saw you,
Sri Lanka was this small. It's not Sri Lanka which
would be small.
But it is Jacqueline who
would be small. She was this small. You just shut up. I have seen in a map.
It is this small.
It is this small. It is small.
- Small? It is very tiny. Grandpa, talk to her
with some respect. Jacqueline knows Judo.
I know Ludo. What is the big deal in it? There is a difference between
Judo and Ludo. Do you know that? What difference does it make? Though you are a professional
at playing Ludo. You have to come back when snake
bites you at 99th position.
Did you get it? Nonsense! I am sorry. I'm sorry, if you don't mind
I'm feeling pressurised. Oh, God! I will make a move.
- Yes, mister. Good luck for your movie.
- Yes..
I will be right back.
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Okay, bye. Bye.
- Bye! Bye.
- Bye! There are so many
of our friends here. They have few questions
to ask you.
Who is going to ask
the first question? Hi, Kapil sir.
- Hello! Hi, Jacqueline ma'am.
- Hello! Hi, Siddharth sir.
- Hello! I have a question
for Jacqueline ma'am. You ask first, then we shall
talk about it. I will call the police
if you say anything to her. I have seen your promos
on TV recently.
I've noticed that you have
and eye for risky boys. I wanted to say that
I am risky too. Wow!
Okay! What do you want to say? You might not know, I travel
in trains without a ticket. Oh!
That's very risky.
What an achievement! Leave that aside. I ride bikes,
with my both hands in the air. That makes you a crazy man. How is it risky? If you say,
I can climb mountains too.
Mountains! Why does she want
you to climb? Because she like risky boys. Yes, so what do you want? Don't answer. Oh! What can you do for Jacqueline
standing there in this moment? I don't know about
the later part.. I can dance with her.
I can do that too. This is not something to enjoy. Can you jump from there?
- From where? I can do it.
I can do it. You can do it?
- Hey, no..
Are you sure? It is not called jumping,
it's called falling down. It's not even considered
as falling down. It is considered
as killing yourself. Please come.
What is your name?
- Sujith! Sujith! Sujith, the winning moment
is when you fall down. Sujith! Sujith! Sujith, seriously?
- Don't do it. Forget about falling down,
ma'am is right here. Do something else
to impress her.
Frog jumping!
- Frog jumping! Frog jumping with Kapil. You have to sit like this
and imagine that you are sitting on a chair. Fine? Not like that.. Don't bend too much.
You have to sit like this. Like a squat. Yes! Stay there. Sit down.
Sit down.
There is no need of music. You keep sitting. Is there anyone else here? No, why did you stand? You keep sitting there. Go a bit more low.
Oh, God!
- This is fine. You sit here while
I talk to audience. First..
Do it.. From there..
Do this..
You have to sit and do it.
- He did it.. - Bend lower. Impressed!
Impressed! I am impressed.
I am impressed a lot. Fine, do this.
This is very easy.
Even kids can do it. Do this and show it. I'm asking you to do
simpler things than jumping. You have to do it quickly.
Like this.
Fine? You are so sweet.
Thank you, Srijith. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
You are very risky.
Thank you, Srijith. Is there anyone else? Yes, please. Siddharth sir, I'm a very huge
fan of yours. Sir, black spectacles
suit you more.
But my friends say that
it suits me as well. So, can I dance with you sir?
Please. Even my friends say that
black suits me. You do it too.
Did you bring the black shades?
- Yes. Oh!
- You have brought two. Oh! The black shades
suits you a lot. This mic suits me a lot.
Give it to me.
Thank you. 'Black glasses looks
nice on you.' 'Looks nice on your white face.' 'Black glasses looks
nice on you.' 'Looks nice on your white face.' 'When you walk on roads.' 'Baby you put boys
hearts on fire.' 'And when you see us.' 'You show fake tantrums,
you liar.' - Liar! 'Black glasses looks nice
on your white face.' 'As the black moles look
nice on your chin.' 'With your style you must kill.' 'At least ten to twelve boys
in a day.' 'There are many like you.' 'There can't be anyone like me.' 'There are many like you.' 'You are rural.' 'I am beautiful than Katrina.' 'I'm fed up of listening
to your whines.' 'I'm fed up of listening
to your whines.' 'Black glasses suit me.' Oh, my!
- Black glasses.. Thank you, Meenal.
Please come. Thank you, Meenal.
See you.
Thank you.
Bye! Superb!
You've danced very well. Is there anyone else? Yes! Yes, Mounika. Why are you laughing? Is Mounika not your name?
- No, Sir. I am Jayshree.
- Hail Lord.
Hi, Siddharth sir.
- Hello! Hi, Jacqueline ma'am.
- Hello! I am a big fan of yours. And I am coming from Gujarat. I was just listening to the most
popular song of yours. 'Chitiyan Kaliyan' I have written a smaller version
of the song in Gujarati.
Just for you.
- Wow! How?
How? Please sing it.
- Love you, Jayshree. Most welcome, ma'am. This is for you. Thank you, Jayshree.
- Thank you.
Thank you so much. Beautiful voice!
And you are so cute. The rhyming was messed up
in the end, right. Your white wrists..
It belongs to you..
Let's go for a movie.
It's a request. I will request. Thank you, Mounika. Thank you, Jayshree.
Thank you so much, sir. Thank you so much for coming.
- Thank you. God bless! He has used a gun lot of times
in his movies. To check his target test,
we have called a volunteer.
You have to throw the rings. The rings are actually
quite bigger. Jacqueline, you both
have to try. One by one.
This area is yours.
This area belongs to Siddharth. What will I get if I throw
it here? He is your man. Okay!
- Keep some distance. Distance! From here, Jacqueline.
Come, Jacqueline. This..
This is your mark. Okay, ready?
Ready? Let's go..
Whoever gets.. Green is yours
and red is his.
Ready! Oh, no! Hold it tight.
Hold it tight. Wow! Yes!
Wow! Both of their scores
are balanced. One more.
One more. Take your time.
I couldn't figure out
who threw the most rings. Is it a tie?
- It's a tie. I won.
- It's a tie. Now you can go to washroom.
So, the match is tied
between these both. The gentleman movie will be
shown on this screen. Thank you. Thank you so much.
Siddharth and Jacqueline,
the audience who came here we shall gift everyone
a beautiful mobile phone. Wow! You have to decide
who entertained you the most or whom you thought is fun. Our audience can also decide. Who is it? The whole dance.
- Whole dance.
Whole dance. The first one who came.. That means I will keep the gift. Are you sure?
- Yes.
They should show us
one more dance. Sujith was also good. Sujith! Which song? Which song will you dance on? Nobody is there.. You have three options.
Jacqueline. - Yes.
- This is for your fan. He has danced a lot.
His shirt came off. His pant went below the waist.
- That's when you express yourself while
dancing.
He.. Congratulations. A big hand for Sidharth
and Jacqueline. Thank you.
Thank you so much.. Best wishes to both of you. All the very best for all your future projects. Thank you..
Can we just say bye..
- Keep smiling.. Keep watching
The Kapil Sharma Show. Thank you so much
to all of you. Thank you so much for coming.
Thank you...
Monday, April 9, 2018
The collapse of Venezuela, explained
Venezuela was once the richest country in
Latin America. It has the largest known oil reserves in the
world. And its democratic government was once praised
world wide. But today, Venezuelas democratic institutions
and its economy are in shambles.
The country has the highest inflation in the
world, making food and medicine inaccessible to most Venezuelans. Over the last four years, its GDP has fallen
35%, which is a sharper drop than the one seen during the Great Depression in the US. The countrys murder rate has surpassed
that of the most dangerous cities in the world. These conditions have sparked months of protests
against the president, Nicolas Maduro.
And its easy to see why: the country has
become measurably worse since his election in 2013. A poll showed that about 80% of Venezuelans
want Maduro removed from office. But instead, the opposite has happened: Maduro
has consolidated his power bringing the country closer to authoritarian rule. Maduros political ambition became evident
in December 2015.
Two years after he became president, a coalition
of opposition parties called the Democratic Unity Roundtable or MUD, won a two-thirds
majority in the National Assembly, putting Maduros rule at risk. In response, Maduro quickly forced out several
Supreme Court justices and filled the positions with cronies loyal to him. In March 2016, the court ruled to strip the
opposition-led National Assembly of its powers -- a move that sparked massive protests across
the country. The ruling was reversed a few days later,
but the damage was done -- protests continued to grow and have left about 100 dead and thousands
injured so far.
Despite the violence and public outcry, Maduro
held a vote in July to elect a new governing body called the National Constituent Assembly,
which would have the power to rewrite Venezuelas constitution and replace the National Assembly. And leave virtually non opposition to Maduro's rule. With Maduro's recent vote, Venezuelans didnt have
a say in whether the assembly should exist. They only had the option to elect its members.
But when Maduros predecessor, Hugo Chavez
proposed a constitutional rewrite in 1999, he first called for a referendum to propose
the election of the assembly. After most Venezuelans voted yes, they elected
a new National Constituent Assembly. See, unlike Maduro, Chavez was a charismatic
and beloved leader. In the 90s, he burst onto television sets
across the country.
He blamed government corruption and Venezuelas
elite for the economic inequality. His populist message resonated with the countrys
poor who eventually helped bring him to power. The key moment in his presidency came in 2004 when oil prices surged. Venezuelas petroleum- dependent economy started booming and Chavez went on to spend billions from the profits on social-welfare programs for the poor.
He subsidized food, improved the educational
system, built an enviable healthcare system and reduced poverty by more than half. These programs certainly helped the poor, but they served a purpose for Chavez as well. In order to be re-elected, he needed to keep
millions of poor Venezuelans happy. So he rigged the economy to do just that...
He didnt scale back Venezuelas dependence
on oil and his unrestrained spending led to a growing deficit. Which meant all these programs would be impossible
to sustain if oil prices fell. After Chavezs death, when Maduro took office
as his handpicked successor, thats exactly what happened:
Oil prices plummeted in 2014 and Maduro failed to adjust. Hyperinflation has made medicines and food,
that was once subsidized, unaffordable for Venezuelas poor, who now make up about
82% of the population.
Like Chavez, Maduro has also rigged the economy
to keep himself in power, but this time its not benefitting the poor.
Hes exploited a complex currency system, put in place by Chavez. Maduros set the official exchange rate
at 10 bolivars per US dollar. But only his friends and allies have access
to this rate. In reality, the venezuelan currency has become
basically worthless.
Most Venezuelans get their dollars on the
black market, where the rate is about 12,000 bolivar per dollar. The military, which got complete control of
the food supply from Maduro in 2016, is reportedly profiting off of this currency crisis. They import food at Maduros special currency
rate and sell it on the black market for a massive profit. So military generals and political allies,
crisis has offered a lucrative opportunity which has helped Maduro stay in power.
But he cant rely on that support alone... ...Which brings us back to Maduros recent
power grab. The opposition boycotted the vote, but Maduro
held the vote for the new constitutional assembly anyway, and won a majority. "Protests on the streets of Venezuela turned deadly after President Nicolas Maduro declares victory.
The violence on Sunday very real The bomb went off near some motorcycle police wounding several. Election day clashes between protesters claiming at least 10 more lives. At least one candidate has been murdered, shot to death. Maduro's government is trying to create the illusion of public support.
Thegovernment claimed about 8 million people,
or 40% of the country, voted. But experts put that number much lower, at
just 3 million people. The international community including Peru,
Canada, Spain, Mexico and Argentina condemned the election. The US imposed financial sanctions on Maduro
and members of his government.
But Maduros assembly, filled with loyalists,
convened anyway and it swiftly removed attorney general Luisa Ortega, leader of the opposition. Armed groups reportedly arrested several other
opposition leaders too. Whether the group will rewrite the constitution
or postpone the next presidential election remains to be seen. For now, Maduro has unprecedented power over
a country that continues to spiral out of control..
Latin America. It has the largest known oil reserves in the
world. And its democratic government was once praised
world wide. But today, Venezuelas democratic institutions
and its economy are in shambles.
The country has the highest inflation in the
world, making food and medicine inaccessible to most Venezuelans. Over the last four years, its GDP has fallen
35%, which is a sharper drop than the one seen during the Great Depression in the US. The countrys murder rate has surpassed
that of the most dangerous cities in the world. These conditions have sparked months of protests
against the president, Nicolas Maduro.
And its easy to see why: the country has
become measurably worse since his election in 2013. A poll showed that about 80% of Venezuelans
want Maduro removed from office. But instead, the opposite has happened: Maduro
has consolidated his power bringing the country closer to authoritarian rule. Maduros political ambition became evident
in December 2015.
Two years after he became president, a coalition
of opposition parties called the Democratic Unity Roundtable or MUD, won a two-thirds
majority in the National Assembly, putting Maduros rule at risk. In response, Maduro quickly forced out several
Supreme Court justices and filled the positions with cronies loyal to him. In March 2016, the court ruled to strip the
opposition-led National Assembly of its powers -- a move that sparked massive protests across
the country. The ruling was reversed a few days later,
but the damage was done -- protests continued to grow and have left about 100 dead and thousands
injured so far.
Despite the violence and public outcry, Maduro
held a vote in July to elect a new governing body called the National Constituent Assembly,
which would have the power to rewrite Venezuelas constitution and replace the National Assembly. And leave virtually non opposition to Maduro's rule. With Maduro's recent vote, Venezuelans didnt have
a say in whether the assembly should exist. They only had the option to elect its members.
But when Maduros predecessor, Hugo Chavez
proposed a constitutional rewrite in 1999, he first called for a referendum to propose
the election of the assembly. After most Venezuelans voted yes, they elected
a new National Constituent Assembly. See, unlike Maduro, Chavez was a charismatic
and beloved leader. In the 90s, he burst onto television sets
across the country.
He blamed government corruption and Venezuelas
elite for the economic inequality. His populist message resonated with the countrys
poor who eventually helped bring him to power. The key moment in his presidency came in 2004 when oil prices surged. Venezuelas petroleum- dependent economy started booming and Chavez went on to spend billions from the profits on social-welfare programs for the poor.
He subsidized food, improved the educational
system, built an enviable healthcare system and reduced poverty by more than half. These programs certainly helped the poor, but they served a purpose for Chavez as well. In order to be re-elected, he needed to keep
millions of poor Venezuelans happy. So he rigged the economy to do just that...
He didnt scale back Venezuelas dependence
on oil and his unrestrained spending led to a growing deficit. Which meant all these programs would be impossible
to sustain if oil prices fell. After Chavezs death, when Maduro took office
as his handpicked successor, thats exactly what happened:
Oil prices plummeted in 2014 and Maduro failed to adjust. Hyperinflation has made medicines and food,
that was once subsidized, unaffordable for Venezuelas poor, who now make up about
82% of the population.
Like Chavez, Maduro has also rigged the economy
to keep himself in power, but this time its not benefitting the poor.
Hes exploited a complex currency system, put in place by Chavez. Maduros set the official exchange rate
at 10 bolivars per US dollar. But only his friends and allies have access
to this rate. In reality, the venezuelan currency has become
basically worthless.
Most Venezuelans get their dollars on the
black market, where the rate is about 12,000 bolivar per dollar. The military, which got complete control of
the food supply from Maduro in 2016, is reportedly profiting off of this currency crisis. They import food at Maduros special currency
rate and sell it on the black market for a massive profit. So military generals and political allies,
crisis has offered a lucrative opportunity which has helped Maduro stay in power.
But he cant rely on that support alone... ...Which brings us back to Maduros recent
power grab. The opposition boycotted the vote, but Maduro
held the vote for the new constitutional assembly anyway, and won a majority. "Protests on the streets of Venezuela turned deadly after President Nicolas Maduro declares victory.
The violence on Sunday very real The bomb went off near some motorcycle police wounding several. Election day clashes between protesters claiming at least 10 more lives. At least one candidate has been murdered, shot to death. Maduro's government is trying to create the illusion of public support.
Thegovernment claimed about 8 million people,
or 40% of the country, voted. But experts put that number much lower, at
just 3 million people. The international community including Peru,
Canada, Spain, Mexico and Argentina condemned the election. The US imposed financial sanctions on Maduro
and members of his government.
But Maduros assembly, filled with loyalists,
convened anyway and it swiftly removed attorney general Luisa Ortega, leader of the opposition. Armed groups reportedly arrested several other
opposition leaders too. Whether the group will rewrite the constitution
or postpone the next presidential election remains to be seen. For now, Maduro has unprecedented power over
a country that continues to spiral out of control..
Wednesday, April 4, 2018
Taylor Swift - New Romantics
THE FANS ARE THE
BEST PART OF THIS TOUR. THEY ARE THE REASON
THE SHOWS ARE INCREDIBLE. AND I KNOW THOSE FANS
OUT THERE, ARE JUST ALL IN. WE'RE ALL BORED WE'RE ALL SO
TIRED OF EVERYTHING WE WAIT FOR TRAINS THAT
JUST AREN'T COMING WE SHOW OFF OUR DIFFERENT
SCARLET LETTERS TRUST ME MINE IS BETTER WE'RE SO YOUNG BUT WE'RE ON
THE ROAD TO RUIN WE PLAY DUMB BUT WE KNOW
EXACTLY WHAT WE'RE DOIN' WE CRY TEARS OF MASCARA IN THE BATHROOM HONEY, LIFE IS
JUST A CLASSROOM 'CAUSE BABY I
COULD BUILD A CASTLE OUT OF ALL THE
BRICKS THEY THREW AT ME AND EVERY DAY
IS LIKE A BATTLE BUT EVERY NIGHT
WITH US IS LIKE A DREAM BABY.
WE'RE
THE NEW ROMANTICS COME ON, COME ALONG WITH ME HEARTBREAK IS
THE NATIONAL ANTHEM WE SING IT PROUDLY WE ARE TOO BUSY DANCING TO GET KNOCKED OFF OUR FEET BABY, WE'RE
THE NEW ROMANTICS THE BEST PEOPLE
IN LIFE ARE FREE WE'RE ALL HERE THE LIGHTS AND
NOISE ARE BLINDING WE HANG BACK IT'S ALL IN THE TIMING IT'S POKER HE CAN'T SEE IT IN MY FACE BUT I'M ABOUT
TO PLAY MY ACE WE NEED LOVE BUT ALL WE WANT IS DANGER WE TEAM UP THEN SWITCH SIDES
LIKE A RECORD CHANGER THE RUMORS ARE TERRIBLE AND CRUEL BUT HONEY, MOST
OF THEM ARE TRUE 'CAUSE BABY I
COULD BUILD A CASTLE OUT OF ALL THE
BRICKS THEY THREW AT ME AND EVERY DAY
IS LIKE A BATTLE BUT EVERY NIGHT
WITH US IS LIKE A DREAM BABY. WE'RE
THE NEW ROMANTICS COME ON, COME ALONG WITH ME HEARTBREAK IS
THE NATIONAL ANTHEM WE SING IT PROUDLY WE ARE TOO BUSY DANCING TO GET KNOCKED OFF OUR FEET BABY, WE'RE
THE NEW ROMANTICS THE BEST PEOPLE
IN LIFE ARE FREE SO COME ON,
COME ALONG WITH ME THE BEST PEOPLE
IN LIFE ARE FREE PLEASE TAKE MY HAND AND PLEASE TAKE ME DANCING AND PLEASE LEAVE ME
STRANDED IT'S SO ROMANTIC I DON'T WANT TO FORGET ANYTHING
THAT HAPPENED ON THIS TOUR. IT WAS ONE OF THOSE
REMARKABLE MOMENTS. IN TIME WHEN
EVERYTHING FELT EXCITING.
'CAUSE BABY I
COULD BUILD A CASTLE OUT OF ALL THE
BRICKS THEY THREW AT ME AND EVERY DAY
IS LIKE A BATTLE BUT EVERY NIGHT
WITH US IS LIKE A DREAM 'CAUSE BABY I
COULD BUILD A CASTLE OUT OF ALL THE
BRICKS THEY THREW AT ME AND EVERY DAY
IS LIKE A BATTLE BUT EVERY NIGHT
WITH US IS LIKE A DREAM BABY. WE'RE
THE NEW ROMANTICS COME ON, COME ALONG WITH ME HEARTBREAK IS
THE NATIONAL ANTHEM WE SING IT PROUDLY WE ARE TOO BUSY DANCING TO GET KNOCKED OFF OUR FEET BABY, WE'RE
THE NEW ROMANTICS THE BEST PEOPLE
IN LIFE ARE FREE LOOKING OUT INTO...LIKE...AN
ENDLESS OCEAN OF CROWD... THAT WAS EVERYTHING. WE'RE ALL REALLY
SAD THAT IT IS ENDING.
BUT WE'RE ALL REALLY
HAPPY BECAUSE OF WHAT IT WAS..
BEST PART OF THIS TOUR. THEY ARE THE REASON
THE SHOWS ARE INCREDIBLE. AND I KNOW THOSE FANS
OUT THERE, ARE JUST ALL IN. WE'RE ALL BORED WE'RE ALL SO
TIRED OF EVERYTHING WE WAIT FOR TRAINS THAT
JUST AREN'T COMING WE SHOW OFF OUR DIFFERENT
SCARLET LETTERS TRUST ME MINE IS BETTER WE'RE SO YOUNG BUT WE'RE ON
THE ROAD TO RUIN WE PLAY DUMB BUT WE KNOW
EXACTLY WHAT WE'RE DOIN' WE CRY TEARS OF MASCARA IN THE BATHROOM HONEY, LIFE IS
JUST A CLASSROOM 'CAUSE BABY I
COULD BUILD A CASTLE OUT OF ALL THE
BRICKS THEY THREW AT ME AND EVERY DAY
IS LIKE A BATTLE BUT EVERY NIGHT
WITH US IS LIKE A DREAM BABY.
WE'RE
THE NEW ROMANTICS COME ON, COME ALONG WITH ME HEARTBREAK IS
THE NATIONAL ANTHEM WE SING IT PROUDLY WE ARE TOO BUSY DANCING TO GET KNOCKED OFF OUR FEET BABY, WE'RE
THE NEW ROMANTICS THE BEST PEOPLE
IN LIFE ARE FREE WE'RE ALL HERE THE LIGHTS AND
NOISE ARE BLINDING WE HANG BACK IT'S ALL IN THE TIMING IT'S POKER HE CAN'T SEE IT IN MY FACE BUT I'M ABOUT
TO PLAY MY ACE WE NEED LOVE BUT ALL WE WANT IS DANGER WE TEAM UP THEN SWITCH SIDES
LIKE A RECORD CHANGER THE RUMORS ARE TERRIBLE AND CRUEL BUT HONEY, MOST
OF THEM ARE TRUE 'CAUSE BABY I
COULD BUILD A CASTLE OUT OF ALL THE
BRICKS THEY THREW AT ME AND EVERY DAY
IS LIKE A BATTLE BUT EVERY NIGHT
WITH US IS LIKE A DREAM BABY. WE'RE
THE NEW ROMANTICS COME ON, COME ALONG WITH ME HEARTBREAK IS
THE NATIONAL ANTHEM WE SING IT PROUDLY WE ARE TOO BUSY DANCING TO GET KNOCKED OFF OUR FEET BABY, WE'RE
THE NEW ROMANTICS THE BEST PEOPLE
IN LIFE ARE FREE SO COME ON,
COME ALONG WITH ME THE BEST PEOPLE
IN LIFE ARE FREE PLEASE TAKE MY HAND AND PLEASE TAKE ME DANCING AND PLEASE LEAVE ME
STRANDED IT'S SO ROMANTIC I DON'T WANT TO FORGET ANYTHING
THAT HAPPENED ON THIS TOUR. IT WAS ONE OF THOSE
REMARKABLE MOMENTS. IN TIME WHEN
EVERYTHING FELT EXCITING.
'CAUSE BABY I
COULD BUILD A CASTLE OUT OF ALL THE
BRICKS THEY THREW AT ME AND EVERY DAY
IS LIKE A BATTLE BUT EVERY NIGHT
WITH US IS LIKE A DREAM 'CAUSE BABY I
COULD BUILD A CASTLE OUT OF ALL THE
BRICKS THEY THREW AT ME AND EVERY DAY
IS LIKE A BATTLE BUT EVERY NIGHT
WITH US IS LIKE A DREAM BABY. WE'RE
THE NEW ROMANTICS COME ON, COME ALONG WITH ME HEARTBREAK IS
THE NATIONAL ANTHEM WE SING IT PROUDLY WE ARE TOO BUSY DANCING TO GET KNOCKED OFF OUR FEET BABY, WE'RE
THE NEW ROMANTICS THE BEST PEOPLE
IN LIFE ARE FREE LOOKING OUT INTO...LIKE...AN
ENDLESS OCEAN OF CROWD... THAT WAS EVERYTHING. WE'RE ALL REALLY
SAD THAT IT IS ENDING.
BUT WE'RE ALL REALLY
HAPPY BECAUSE OF WHAT IT WAS..
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